Cewe-cewe Yang Gak Pernah Tau Apa Yang Mereka Mau

Jadi sebenernya gue cuman sambil nunggu download CD sambil cari2 cover album buat dimasukin ke ipod, sambil chatting ama nyokap di india..
Tapi gue pengen cerita sesuatu..
Mungkin buat beberapa orang yg udah lihat cukup banyak, mereka akan paham dengan terminologi2 di lagu2 gue (Raygava et.al.),... tipe2 cewe seperti apa yg gue coba gambarkan di lagu2 spt Kedua Tercantik dan Saling Menipu (Perempuan Murahan).. Yah walau terminologi gue cukup banyak dan butuh waktu yg cukup lama utk jelasin spesifikasi dari tiap2 istilah ini.. dan emang mereka agak2 beda sih..
Yah mereka to some certain extent bisa kita sebut cewe2 murah.. atau cewe2 beyotch..atau penggoda atau cewe2 nakal
Bagi bbrp orang, mereka disebut cewe2 player.... atau heartbreaker..
buat gue.... mereka cukup gue sebut, cewe2 yg gak pernah tau apa yg mereka mau..

But Myself, personally, I'm always fine with them.. If they're cheap.. if they're bitches.. i like to party in clubs.. i like to get drunk... so i dun really care... but pls pls pliiss abis, say the truth.. Be honest to yourself (well i guess they can't that's why mereka dibilang cewe2 yg gak pernah tau apa yg mereka mau.. cz they dont.. they dont even know who they are..)... kan kasian book lama2 juga jadinya...
Jadi begini.. Kebanyakan cewe2 beginian....eh..
StOP.!.. oke oke.. lupa nih.. gue harus jelasin dulu ini cewe2 yg begimana sih yg gue lagi kupas disini...
Okeh.. jadi pasti lo tau cewe2 ini..: Mereka pandai berdandan, wanita penggoda, otomatis agak2 tolol n intelektualitas rendah, punya koleksi mantan pacar yg segudang (belum termasuk cowo2 yg cuman datang2 bentar), .. mereka sangat suka direspect dan dihargai.. Definisi mereka di respect n dihargai adalah: Mendapatkan fasilitas bintang lima utk jasa penjemputan, makanan, dan hiburan. Yg lagi gue kupas ini bukan cewe2 murahan yg mau ama om2.. Mereka jijik kok sama Om2.. tapi mereka senang cowo2 muda yg kaya (atau lebih enaknya, anak orang kaya), yg lumayan ganteng, dan siap membawa mereka having fun. (which generally can be described as drinking, smoking pots, kissing n touching, getting high on some stupid pills, some includes heroin, crack,..and also maybe a li'l bit of f*ckin,if they're really crazy abt you.. (and yes that's why we love them)..Hmmm apalagi yah.. Mereka ini jelas yg suka banyak.. karena mereka cantik (to some extent, dan bukan tipe cewe yg pecun2 amat alias masih berkelas dikit)... and they're just one of your friends kok.

Gue gak ada stok gambar.. jadi ini deh kebetulan abis cari covernya suede... yahh kira2 beginilah pemandangan di club yah.... cewe2 yg kita cintai.. amiiinnn.. hahaha
Oke.. jadi kita lanjutkan.. jadi begini.. Entah kenapa , cewe2 begini, mereka akan selalu kebingungan..
Mereka gak pernah tahu apakah mereka tuh sebenernya masih pengen mabuk sana sini, dugem sana-sini, atau mau settle, atau mau menikah, atau mau mencoba hubungan serius, atau mau f*ckin around aja, atau mau jadi player, atau mau jadi wanita karir, atau apa... the problem.. mereka gak pernah tau mereka mau apa.
Mengapa?... Secara ilmu psikologis, untuk logisnya aja, seseorang gak bakal tau mereka mau apa kalo mereka gak tau mereka ada di mana. Kalo gak salah gue pernah nulis ttg hal kayak gini, tapi waktu itu lebih condong kepada urusan karir (silakan browse posting2 gue yg dulu2).. Nah skrg urusan social life sbnrnya sama.. Lo gak akan mungkin tau lo maunya apa kalo lo gak tau lo berada dimana?
Dimanakah lo berada, dalam parameter klasifikasi social life? Apakah anda ini sebenarnya?
Apakah saya ini player? apakah saya ini sebenernya seorang yg cupu?.. cupunya segimana> super cupu? sangat cupu? super bitch? bitch dikit2? bitch abeess?.. hahahha macem2 nyet.. lo harus tau exact location lo dimana. Nah ini yg cewe2 begini gak pernah tau. Mereka gak tau to what extent their bitchi-ness is. Mereka bisa aja mengira mereka udah mau settle.
"gue kyknya udah mau hidup yang sttle deh"
"gue mau deh kawin taun depan kalo ada yg ngajak" (ini aja udah pernyataan yg menandakan ketololan mereka dan cuman sebatas apa otak mereka berfungsi)
"gue bukan player ahhh.. gue tuh disakitin terus, lagii" (ya iya lah, mana ada maling ngaku maling. hahaha... buat yg kenal gue jangan ketawa lo!.. kalo gue sih emang sering disakitin!. hahha)
one point to learn here: NEVER SAY SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T KEEP!!
Jangan sekali2 lo bilang kalo lo mau hidup settle kalo sebenernya lo masih suka brantakan kesana sini.. Makanya gue juga gak pernah tuh bilang mau kawin ahhhh... engga tuh.. you know why? krn yah emang gue tau gue masih brantakan, to some extent. Jangan bilang lo udah jadi Kijang kalo lo masih Ferrari (urusan Kijang-Ferrari ini mgkn bisa gue jelaskan lain waktu.... and istilah Kijang-Ferrari adalah copyrights Patton dan anak PL)...
Kebanyakan cewe2 begini mereka kebingungan.. gak punya arah.. gak punya pegangan yg pasti. Orang2 yg pinter masih punya pegangan, karirnya lah, keluarganya lah.... cewe2 begini kan valuesnya juga udah agak2 aneh yah.. jadi yah mereka emang gak punya pegangan lagi.. secara mereka juga kaga pinter (makanya dibodohin kita cowo2 juga percaya2 aja ahahaha)... Kadang mereka pikir pernikahan adalah solusinya.
Mereka pikir pernikahan bisa menyelamatkan mereka dari ke"berantakan"an hidupnya. Yakin?
hehehhehhee.. karena justru darisini lah lahir hubungan2 "pernikahan modern" dimana suami suka2 ng3ntot diluar rumah dan pulang malam, dan istri2 juga sibuk dengan aktivitas yoga atau buka kamar di hotel dg partnernya... Wahhh betapa majunya pernikahan jaman sekarang. yahhh tapi apa boleh buat. Inilah solusi kebahagiaan yg kita cari... eh sori.. yg mereka cari.
udah ahh.. cape juga yahh ngomongin kayak ginian.... gak ada abisnya.. No one can solve their problems.. Cz they wont know whether they want their problems solved or not.
Maybe not.. dan lalu disinilah berlaku hukum rimba. Hukum alam terbesar....

yang baik akan bersama yang baik (menikah dengan yang baik, hidup kehidupan yang cukup baik, punya anak2 yg cukup baik, dan in overall cukup oke lah)..
sementara yang rusak akan rusak (menikah kedalam pernikahan yg rusak, menjalani kehidupan keluarga rusak, punya anak2 yg nantinya jadi ikut rusak, dan in overall cukup rusak lahh)....
so?.. now that you know.... which path do you want to take?

Yahhh ini juga deh covernya deftones... yahh mgkn kira2 bisa begini juga sih...
ehhehehe... basi yah.. buat yg been there done that... i hope we can find our way to the end.! ;) hehhehe amen.

The Weirdos (Episode 4: The Weird Psycho Man)

Akhirnya.. for the multiply ppl.. sori telat gue copy paste nya.. hehhee this was actually published Oct 1, 2006. but do enjoy for those who havent.. Akhirnye gue mutuskan untuk dipercepat ending. it was gonna be a 6 episode series.. tapi gak jadi.. :( sorry..




Finally, i'm tired.. been wanting to do this since when i started this "the weirdos" series .. so here goes.. this is the final episode of 'The Weirdos'!... the one to conclude all the previous ones. May we all now rest in silences..
_____________________________________________________________________

The Weird Psycho Man

And so there's this Psycho man. He wanders around lookin for things maybe he wasn't  sure of. He was lookin for the answers to his life. (well, is there any?)

He thought he had it all, he thought he had found the one. But first, one thing about this guy, he always makes crazy decisions. Decisions people wouldn't do.. he's a psycho... a total psycho.

And so he had everything, a career moving towards a settled life, a woman he proclaimed to be 'the one', he had everything a normal-common people would ever wish. But he decided to turn everything around. He destroyed his dream for a common life.. Why?.. cz he's not common.. He's a psycho. And He always said "it takes a big heart to become a psycho..!" And somehow he seemed to all of us someone proud of his mental illness.

During his period of destruction... he met again with the woman of his dreams. (literally and not-literally).. And yes, God has been really good to him (and this i dun even know why). But as expected, his psycho mind spread the pscyho acts.
A woman of his dreams, someone anyone would fight to keep... but no, he drove her away. So now he drove away the one and the woman of his dream.

He never realised the hurt slowly growing inside him from the actions he took. He was careless cause his actions did not heal his mental illness.. it made him worse. Hurt after hurt after hurt, he became more psycho than ever. but God never stop loving this psycho... He gave him chances after chances.. chances to do good, chances to fix his mistakes, chances to heal himself...
not one, not two,.. but three or more..
But he is a total psycho.. The most psychotic man I've ever met!!.. honestly...

He drove away everything once again...
Now the hurt he experienced has grown into something he could not handle anymore. It's like a chain reaction.. the more he got hurt, the more he hurt. And the circle grew bigger and bigger, making contacts to people who were not involved before.

___________________________________________________________________________________

So that's some brief summary of him. Now to detail his psychotic behaviour!

He had a date once, with this woman of his dreams (another chance to make it work), to a wedding. For some reasons of misunderstanding, the woman thought the wedding is for the following week. But during the afternoon of that day, this psycho guy found out the wedding is on that very day. So he texted the woman, no reply. Called her, no answer.. tried again hours later, still the same... So his devilish psychotic mind started to think psycho. and so he texted her, "it's okay.. i know you probably pretended to forget the wedding date so that u can go there with another man. It's alrite. I'm going there too with my friends.. so c u there!"

goddamnit.. how psyhco is daat????
And not so long after that, his phone rang.. the woman called. She was sleeping throughout the afternoon.... the rest, is just history. history for his dreams to be with this woman. hahahahhaha.. psychooo!!..

He is a psycho in everything.. but mostly to women. The more he's obsessed the more psychotic he becamee... Scary... or Scar-ry (since he has been thru alot of hurt as well - all thru his own actions/decisions of course)? An annoying thing about him, is that he's always inconsistent. The things on his mind.. and the words that came out of his mouth... the words he said to women who hurt him... the words he said to his friends.. all can be different. He has this pride on his shoulder he thinks he should carry.. and that he shows to his friends... but to the women who hurt him.. he;s nothing.. he has no pride..
Now he's soulless, not able to rest, knowing he has screwed up so many things in his life with his stupied ideal that life should be lived as crazy as posibble.

And the best thing abt this guy... he thinks everyone else is a psycho!!!!... hahahhahah
The women who hurt him he called 'em psychos... the women whom he hurt he called them psychos... Without ever realising it was him all along... It was his mad actions who drove everything away from him. So now.. his psycho brain has led him to a world of emptiness, hollowness ... he now has nothing. Nothing's left. And he is experiencing the biggest hurt he ever experienced.. and if u think that will cure his illness.. uh uh.. no no.. that made him more psycho than ever. a crazy man. a lunatic... cz he's the most psycho man i've ever met in my entire life!!!...

.......

...
and btw, that man is myself.

Saling Menipu (lyric)

by: Regawa Paramasiddi, 2005

Saling Menipu (Perempuan Murahan)

Sering kutemukan kau perempuan
Yang tak bisa duduk berdiam berkata jujur sekali saja
Sering kau mencoba berpura-pura
Dan aku ikut dalam permainanmu

Sudah terlalu jelas bagi aku,
terlalu sering ku bertemu, .... tipe yang seperti dirimu
Kau pikir sudah berapa lama aku.. menahan rasa malas yang bertumpuk di dadaku...

Perempuan murahan tetap kan terus murahan
Tak akan berubah walau uang sudah bertaburan
dan
Perempuan gampangan kan selalu kugampangkan
karena mereka hanya ingin agar dipuaskan

Dan kamu dan aku..habiskan waktu.. saling menipu..
Lihatlah kamu..dengan sandiwaramu kau belum ingin mengaku

Sudah terlalu jelas bagi aku,
terlalu sering ku bertemu, .... tipe yang seperti dirimu
Kau pikir sudah berapa lama aku.. menahan rasa malas yang bertumpuk di dadaku...

Perempuan murahan tetap kan terus murahan
Tak akan berubah walau uang sudah bertaburan
dan
Lelaki yang bajingan kan slalu memanfaatkan
dengan sgala janji-janji hanya sebatas omongan

Dan kamu dan aku..habiskan waktu.. saling menipu..
Lihatlah kamu..dengan sandiwaramu kau belum ingin mengaku

You're Leaving Soon (lyric)

by Regawa Paramasiddi , 2005

You're Leaving Soon

A little bit of smile to brighten your face
A little bit of laugh is what I embrace
I'm falling fall to pieces
Watching you made your every little moves

*And love is not a case of mysteries
Love should not be held in diaries
I don't have much time
Cause you are leaving soon

You should be involved in this serenade
And so you could open up and see what I'm made of.
You will fall for me.. fall for me..

intro..
I wish that I could be a much less loser
So I can prove myself and just be closer to you
Cuz I adore you..it's about you and 'bout the way you move

*

I see some roses green as the trees up on the hill
I know just how you feel... about this...how awkward it is..

I know it's not the greatest time of the year
But you should know that all I want is just to be near
to you I'll give myself... over and over and over

*

The Weirdos (Episode 3: The Weird Violent-Moodswings Woman)

To those who have waited for this 3rd episode. Actually I didn't wanna write this 3rd episode. Been thru hard times ... so I wasn't really in the mood. I wish I could jump straight to episode 5, which is going to be the finale... but.. to reach five, one has to pass three and four, first.. so here goes.. _______________________________________________________________________

The Weird Violent Moodswings Woman

Let me tell you about this girl. She is a bit crazy. Somehow she has this ‘jutek’ look and it’s all natural. But I thought it’s fine. Cz I too was known for my jutek look back in college. But apparently, she has also a strange personality that goes with that jutek look.

My friend told me she was a depressed woman. Somehow feeling that the world is just sooo sooo cruel.. you know?.. just like those drug addicts in the movies. So yes, she likes to get high on marijuanas (which is fine, cz I do too), likes to drink (I do too), and take some anti depressant pills (this I don’t do). So somehow I thought, “god, life must be cruel to her…”

 Have you ever watched “failure to launch”?.. there was ‘Kit’, the girl with strange moodswings played by Zooey Deschanel…? Well that was the cute version of a girl with moodswings… But this woman here, she's more like the girl in “Prozac Nation”… Always looking for trouble, and cause uneasiness to her surroundings.

 
I imagined her being from a broken family, had an unloving mother, a bad sister or any other reason for being depressed. But no!!.. Her family was just fine. Yes she lost her father when she was young.. but that’s still not a good reason, cz her mother is still there. Her mother was very educated, so her family is financially fine.. And she’s not even dating anyone. So there’s definitely no hatred for a step-father. Her sister was fine. And her aunt and cousin (whom I ‘ve met) were okay and were very kind to me. So I thought, this girl should not have any reason to be depressed and act depressed. But the most important thing is that she shows this attitude to public. She shows that she’s somehow depressed, and somehow, often her presence becomes annoyance, not only to ppl who don’t know her, but more importantly to her own friends.

One time, she was mad to my friend (who should be closer to her than to myself, since she had known her before I did) bcz of a simple incident in cinema. The day after, she won’t even talk to my friend. She was practically sitting in front of me and her (my friend).. and she was talking only to me. Oohh so weird.

Another thing that is the most irritating, according to her friends, which in this case was my new friends that time, was the fact that she had this boy best friend who apparently had a big crush on her. (read: ngarep!!). Well, the thing is, everytime they had a quarrel (of course, they're weirdos, do u think they’re not gonna hv a quarrel?), she lets out this destructive mood that would kill any fun her friends were having.

She, and her violent mood swings… that’s her!

In my personal case, I had troubles understanding what she wanted. One time she was mad bcz she thought I was putting sleeping pills to the drinks in the club.. (dooh??.. such a weirdo).. Then the next time we had lunch and she told my friend that it was the perfect date she always wanted…(??).. but then, the same day, at the evening we met with our friends to see a movie and she ended up being mad to all her friends just bcz they took the seats in the middle. While, I, the one who picked her up, and did not know most of her friends, was left sitting alone (of course I expected her to sit beside me)… And after the movie, she suddenly was letting out all this bad mood and personalities to me on the phone, telling me that she was pissed off of the situation and all.. (doohhh??.. I thought I was the one who should be pissed off of the situation back at the cinema).. well the next day, she didn’t want to say a word to my friend (the one I told before).

She told my friend I was the perfect guy, we had the perfect date, her mother always pushed her to be with me, she even told her to marry me, and so did most of her aunties… yet, she always had this bad prejudices abt me. And she still lets out this everlasting bad temperament and violent moods whenever I called. (??).. A Suggestion: Do you do that to a guy u like.. (but then I remember watching Prozac Nation on DVD, played by Christina Ricci.. so much like her)

But let’s just go straight to the end. One day I asked her out for dinner. But then her also-psycho boy best friend got jealous and went totally ngambek dan gak penting abbess…

Then I told her how I was sick of both of them and their strange ngambek tendencies. She said sorry, and thanked me for being honest. She said she will respect me from then on bcz I told her the truth (that most of their friends don’t like em), and hope that maybe she could introspect!

But…. The next day, she called my friend (without knowing that I was there just beside her listening to the conversation), and she was very mad at me. Asking why I was so mean. Apparently she had told almost all her friends abt what I did, what I said, tried to get support…. Whatt??.. what’s with the thank you the day before?.. and the sorry?.. and the introspection?... hahahahhahhaa

She was totally mad and furious. And she thought I was the one who’s weird and they were the normals. (fyi, since then she and her best friend are called ‘the normalz’.. as opposed to ‘the weirdos’.. bcz they think they’re the normal ppl, the common,.. and we are the ones who were strange and weird for thinking that they’re weird).. a bit cofusing innit?..

 
Well there you have it.. !

A strange weird woman with Violent-moodswings, who always blame people, blame the world. She will never accept that her destructive moodswings have been causing irritations from her presence. Marijuanas, anti-depressant were her escape from this ever-cruel world of hers. Of course, she consumes those with all her weird friends… I guess that’s why the world is just so cruel…

Sepuluh Tahun (lyric)

by Raygava 2005

Sepuluh Tahun

Tahukah bahwa dari dulu aku memuja dirimu
Dan kusimpan dalam hati
Tahun demi tahun tlah berganti
Entah mengapa kamu masih disini

Ingat masa SMA aku sering jemput dia
Kutunggunya di luar sekolah
Bertahun-tahun aku mencoba
Coba tuk temukan apa yang salah

*Tapi entah mengapa slama ini dirimu tak pernah
menjadi milikku
Dan kini kau akan menikahi dirinya.. takkan kubiarkan terjadi..

Selama waktu masih tersedia
Ku akan pastikan dirimu untukku
Sepuluh tahun kutunggu dirimu
Untuk bersamaku ... slamanya

Entah sudah berapa pria dan dan berapa wanita yang hadir di dalam hidup kita
Pernahkah terlintas di benakmu bila aku menjadi kisah cintamu

Datang dan Pergi (lyric)

by Raygava, 2005

Datang dan Pergi

Jangan engkau pergi dulu
Berikanlah padaku
Sebuah kesempatan
Tuk jelaskan padamu

Sebelum kau melangkah pergi dariku lagi
Tunggulah sebentar saja
Biarkan aku bicara

Walau semua tak percaya
Betapa aku setia
Aku selalu menanti
Walau kau datang dan pergi

Jika nanti kau kembali, aku kan ada disini
Ku harap suatu hari nanti,
Engkau berhenti berlari

*Walau aku terombang-ambing dalam cintamu
Namun ku akan setia menunggu
Bila engkau memutuskan tuk datang dan pergi
Namun ku akan senantiasa disini

Jangan engkau pergi lagi
tinggalkan aku sendiri
Walau ku tlah terbiasa
kehilangan dirimu

Sebelum kau melangkah pergi dariku lagi
Tunggulah sebentar saja
Biarkan aku bicara

*Walau aku terombang-ambing dalam cintamu
Namun ku akan setia menunggu
Bila engkau memutuskan tuk datang dan pergi
Namun ku akan senantiasa disini

Cara Pergi ke Bandung (lyric)

by Raygava, London 2004

Raygava: Vocals, guitars
Ardhini Citrasari: Bass
Rahmad Ade: Drums

Cara Pergi ke Bandung

Terbawa ku teringat kan masa lalu
Namun tak kan pernah ada mesin waktu
Tuk mengantarku pergi dari tempat ini
Menembus jaman dan mengenang dirimu

Betapa kita sudah berubah kawan
Selalu terpaku melihat masa depan
Namun diam-diam aku masih mencoba mengenang
Dan menemukan lagi jalan untuk kembali

Temu temukan cara tuk pergi ke Bandung
Walau banyak hambatan dan langit pun terus mendung
Namun akan kutemukan jalan yang tepat
Walau perlu waktu ...aku akan menunggu

Ingat saat dulu kusering merenung
Dari tempat kududuk menatap gunung
Namun itu masa lalu seperti kata temanku
Tapi ku tak peduli, aku ingin kembali

Temu temukan cara tuk pergi ke Bandung
Walau banyak hambatan dan langit pun terus mendung
Namun akan kutemukan jalan yang tepat
Walau perlu waktu ...aku akan menunggu

Sekarang semua sudah sangat berbeda
Tak seperti saat kita masih muda
Namun diam-diam aku masih terus mencoba
Dan menemukan lagi jalan untuk kembali

Temu temukan cara tuk pergi ke Bandung
Walau banyak hambatan dan langit pun terus mendung
Namun akan kutemukan jalan yang tepat
Walau perlu waktu ...aku akan menunggu
Temu temukan cara tuk pergi ke Bandung
Walau banyak hambatan dan langit pun terus mendung
Namun akan kutemukan jalan yang tepat
Walau perlu waktu ...aku akan menunggu

The Weirdos (Episode 1: The Weird Broken Woman)

In the following series of posts, I will introduce you to the world of weirdos....
There are so many types of weirdos in this world (n i've been seeing much more of 'em in the past year or so..). So something must be wrong with the world. You could be a weirdo yourself... hell, i could even be a weirdo. (definitely a weirdo to the weirds!).
__________________________________________________________________
The Weird Broken Woman

Ohhh she's so weird... she's so damn weird...
That's because she never knew what she wants. Always obsessed by the ideal world pegged in her mind. But her ideal world may not be ideal at all. Being accustomed to lies throughout her life, she may not know what is real and what is not, which ones are the truth and which ones are sweettalks...
Finding light (dats what she thinks) when it is actually a lie. Finding happiness (dats what she also thinks) when it's actually a cover up of her loneliness. Finding freedom when it's actually her road to pandemonium...

She has been broken (not by me that is, I've only been tryin to give another chance to someone who has f*cked up bad in life,.. and gonna continue so). Or maybe her brain is also broken? Cz, doesn't it need only a mere logic to understand those differences?.. Well, she has been broken, and she is weird. The only question is whether i should put the word 'therefore' between 'and' and 'she', or not. . .?? (see? ... u need brain to understand the last sentence!)

Do i feel sad? yes..
Cz I know she's not happy.. cz i know she's falling apart. Cz i know she's just too comfortable in her own world of lies, deceit, falsified happiness, and denials. She will say she was hurt, and that has been a major excuse for pretty much everything, but nothing's gonna change if she keeps hiding in her 'comfort zone' of false happiness. She's in an abyss, she has been,.... and maybe in it she will always be.

"Remember,... the light at the end of the tunnel, may be you!.." (the outro of "Amazing - Aerosmith")
yeah yeah.. i know it may be me... but i think she will still be stuck in the tunnel, til i dunno when.

The Weirdos (Episode 2: The Weird Suicidal-Sissy Man)

The Weird Suicidal-Sissy Man

Just for a case study:
There is (or was? maybe he's dead now?) a strange guy. And what makes him strange is bcoz he's quite tall. I'd say around 6'0'' or 6'1". He is skinny, with a pony tail on the back of his hair. He has beards and moustaches on his face, wears a tight jeans btw.. hahaa... but,... he acts like a woman!
Not really act like a woman, as you'd see gays (the bitches) do. But he's so sensitive that i'd say he's more sissy than a woman!.... hahhahhahhaa

He had (or maybe have) this crush on an-also-weird woman (we'll discuss abt her next episode), but dunno what happened, he just couldn't manage to get this girl to be his girlfriend (well, maybe he should, then they would be the weirdest couple and they should have weird childrens, and live on an island by themselves and create a new weirdo colony.. hahahhaha.. this is a joke i hv with my friends btw). Well anyway, he's so possesive and strangely over-attached to this girl, that if something happened, if they have a quarrel, then he would go 'ngambek' and cause uneasiness to all his surroundings.

When the girl (drunk) wanted me to accompany her to the bathroom (in a club somewhere in Kemang few mths ago), and pulled my hand, this guy suddenly tapped me in the back.
He said,"take a good care of her!"..
I was drunk,.. but dude, 'pliss deh'! I could still see how pathetic you were!.. What?? couldnt get her? well that's ur problem!.. and u wanna act like her 'best friend' all this time????.. ohhh mannn.. that is just what all those sissy men do! make your 'gebetan' your best friend!.. well dont!..
siissy.... sissyy... sissy... hahahahha!!..

another time, i was gonna take this girl for dinner,.. and suddenly he seemed to be very very jealous, and got really 'ngambek' once again. This girl then felt uneasy, thinking what could make her 'best friend' mad at her?.. And I was so sick (of them) that after that event I didn't want to have anything to do with those two weirdos. but no.. this girl's episode will come next.. so this time, it's abt this pathetic guy first!..

What's worse.. a few weeks later, this guy started to terrorise my friend (another girl). He said he is all fucked up and he wanted to die. The day after he sent another text to my friends saying he was ready if he should die tomorrow... hahahhaha..
It's just too bad, my friend was thinking of replying the text with the following, but decided not to: "Alhamdulillah, we as human should always be prepared!".. hahhahah
oohhhh shitt... this guy was just the freakiest and weirdest guy i've ever met. Later on, he became clingy to this friend of mine..(he used to like her as well).. ohh ohhhh./.. so weiirrrdddddd.. and so girlyyyy!!

Damn... i'm having trouble describing the events in words!...

________________________________________________________________________
Well, what this guy represent is a person, a man, who is basically a loser!.. or maybe he's not a man?.. hahahha
-He couldn't get women to be his girlfriends, so he made them his 'best friends'. this is just what losers do.
-He's always jealous when the girl went out with a guy, and he always go 'ngambek' sendiri. hahahhaha.. loserr !!.. hahhahaha
-He has a destructive mood that can kill the fun mood whenever all the guys r hangin out.
it's like he has this big signboard with blinking lamps on his forehead, saying "NO FUN!"
hahhahahhahahhaha...
-He exaggerates alot. saying he's ready to die and all. pliss deh.. life is just so worthy, that u'd be a total freak to mention 'wanting to die' to get people's sympathy. U wanna be suicidal?.. well then what r u doin here? go ahead and die!.. it'd be much better for others!.. hahahha

ahhhh enough!.. can't say anymore!..
well if u think u r like him.. then don;t do it!.. if you can;t get your women, don't make them your best friends! (unless u can really stop hoping alias 'ngarep').. mood disorder and big exaggeration are just fatal mistakes which make u even more pathetic and even more like losers!! Cz friends don;t like it (that's why u don't have friends, i guess.. hahhaha)
loserr ..loser.. loseeerr..!! freak freak freaaaakk!!!.. hahhahahhah
weirdoooooooooo..

have u seen similar cases? i bet u have. cz i'm sure there are quite a lot of ppl like this guy i picked on.

Thrills of Love (lyric)

by Raygava London 2005
Raygava: Vocal, Back Vocal, Guitars Ardhini Citrasari: Bass Rahmad Ade: Drums

Thrills of Love

I'm missing the thrills of love, tonight..
I'm looking forward for some loving delight

I want some more of your smiles, your hugs and chocolate kisses...
that's the kick of love

I want some more of those niggles, tingles, missing you...
Oh that's why that's why

I'm missing the thrills of love ..
Like a pirate missing his treasure cove ..

I want some more of your smiles, your hugs and chocolate kisses...
that's the kick of love
I want some more of those niggles, tingles, missing you...
Oh that's the thrills of love

I want some more of your smiles, your hugs and chocolate kisses...
that's the kick of love
I want some more of those niggles, tingles, missing you...
Oh that's the thrills of love

Where I Belong (lyric)

by: Raygava, London, 2004

Raygava: Vocal, Back Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar
Ardhini Citrasari: Bass
Rachmad Ade: Drums

WHERE I BELONG

Lately I've been thinking
Staring at my bedroom ceiling
Outside is raining
And it seems that it will keep on falling
And my empty thoughts are running to seek refuge from my fears
of being alone

Lost in the crowds of the mystified people
Standing by myself on an empty train to Heathrow
Looks like I'm just the only one who feels like runnning away
listen....

I'm just aching for the love before
The ray of sun at half past four
The warmth of kisses from loving lips
It's just a place... Where I belong

opening the window waiting for the snow
I'm screaming in my heart counting months to go
Ohh eventhough..
Inside the rush of people but I still feel lonely wherever I go
I'm thinking...

I'm just aching for the love before
The ray of sun at half past four
The warmth of kisses from loving lips
It's just a place... Where I belong

Oh I wanted to speak and I just couldn't sleep to the end
And I'm drowning to deep need to go back to where I came
My hurt my pain
it will still remain
if I'm far away .. away from you



comments by Raygava:
Where I Belong is about love!... the love for your home (wherever it may be, in my case it is Indonesia). No matter where I am, stranded alone.. I will never forget how beautiful my country is. The shades of the trees, the people who know you best, the bright sunshine, etc.etc.!.. words are not enough!
This song came out straight from my heart. I wanted people to understand how it feels to love your country, especially when you are far away.
Standing by myself on an empty train to Heathrow
Looks like I'm just the only one who feels like runnning away
--> describes how almost all indonesian (then, when i was in London), loved London so much. None wants to go back. People who have money returned home that winter break. I didn't have much, but I missed my home. I did not see why Indonesians have to hate their own country so much. Most Indonesians who live abroad speak good things of the country they live in. Why can't they see the good things in Indonesia? Most Indonesians who live abroad in developed countries would like to stay forever in that country. why? Is Indonesia not good enough?..
Do they forget how warm the sunshine is? the people is? the food is?..
That winter end of 2004, I swear I wanted to hop onto the Picadilly line straight to heathrow. But i knew it's only gonna be myself (the only Indonesian) standing there wishing to return home.

Berhenti Darimu (lyric)

By Raygava, 2003

Raygava : Vocal, Electric Guitars, Bass, Drums
M. Arisyahrazad : Synthesizer, Electric guitar
Endrian Kolopaking : Electric guitar

BERHENTI DARIMU

Berlari darimu, sampai kapan itu takkan pernah membantu
Menepis dirimu, terlalu sulit dilakukan saat itu

Lagi aku mencoba untuk alihkan dirimu dari pikirku
Kau kembali menghantui lorong-lorong mimpiku
Satu yang harus engkau tahu,

Renungan malam ini takkan menjadi berarti bila kau masih belum sendiri
Percuma aku berdiri menghabiskan tenaga di hati
Ku harus berhenti darimu

Darimu, kudapatkan semua
Darimu, engkau impianku semata
Seluruh masa, berlalu hilang langsung seketika

Hari-hari masih terasa terlalu menyiksa, aku bertanya
Kau kembali menghantui pelosok isi jiwa
Kukatakan satu hal saja

Renungan malam ini takkan menjadi berarti bila kau masih belum sendiri
Percuma aku berdiri menghabiskan tenaga di hati
Ku harus berhenti mencintaimu

Terlalu usang hatiku menantikan dirimu, sendiri
Berubah sakit semua mimpi-mimpi indahku, tentangmu
Tenggelam aku didalam genangan cintamu

Renungan malam ini takkan menjadi berarti bila kau masih belum sendiri
Percuma aku berdiri menghabiskan tenaga di hati
Ku harus berhenti darimu

comments from raygava:
My favorite song in terms of musical arrangements!... I love the composition. When I first wrote the songs, I did not expect the song to come out like this. I looooveee the sound of my guitar!!.. I predicted it to be just so-so, another song you would put in the middle or bottom of the order, songs you won't pay much attention to. But it came out starking. everytime I listen to the clean sounds of the vintage 1962 Jazzmaster, and the voxy sound of the synth, I find the gloominess of the song, but at the same time there are also love, warmth, and the monotonous fills that give you the expression of life's dullness.

The song itself tells the story of a guy who is on the verge of stealing someone's lover. And if you understand quite a lot about this, in the process there will always be a point when the future is being discussed and the woman will have to make a decision. This is probably the hardest part of the process, the hardest gamble. They (the man and the woman) will spent numerous hours arguing, fighting, and it will never stop. Never, not if the woman is still in relationship with her boyfriend. Well... sort of like that.

Tanda-tanda (lyric)

By Regawa Paramasiddi, 2003

Raygava : Vocal, Acoustic Guitars, Electric guitars, Bass, Drums, Back Vocals
M. Arisyahrazad : Electric guitars

TANDA-TANDA

Bila ku ikuti kata hati
Kutakut akan menyesal esok hari
Berjalan terus perlahan pasti
Sebelum tahu menetap atau pergi

Tapi seluruh jagat berbunyi, hari ini aku tahu semua
Mungkin ini yang kutunggu, terungkap sudah semua maksud

Tuhan telah memberi aku tanda-tanda tuk tinggalkan dirimu
Walau aku masih ragu
Engkaulah yang selama ini mengerti diriku
Namun aku?… aku ….

Aku memang bukan orang tolol
Tapi semalam terpeleset dan terkilir kakiku
Ban mobilku pecah di jalan tol
Ketika ku akan kembali kepadamu

Tapi seluruh jagat berbunyi hari ini, ungkapkan maksud dengan seribu cara
Untuk meyakinkan kepada diriku, Ini dia jawabanku

Tuhan telah memberi aku tanda-tanda tuk tinggalkan dirimu
Walau aku masih ragu
Engkaulah yang selama ini mengerti diriku
Namun aku?… aku tak tahu

-break-

Tapi seluruh jagat berbunyi hari ini, ungkapkan maksud dengan seribu cara
Untuk meyakinkan kepada diriku, Ini dia jawabanku

Tuhan telah memberi aku tanda-tanda tuk tinggalkan dirimu
Walau aku masih ragu
Engkaulah yang selama ini mengerti diriku
Namun aku?… aku tak tahu

comments:
I love this song to pieces. Probably the most honest song i have ever written. Came out to me exactly after the incident, I tried to memorise it by singing over and over on my way back home. When I reached my house, I bursted into the music room, picked up my guitar and started composing this song. I would say it's probably the best song i have ever written, in terms of how i got the idea.

Last Drips of Tears (lyric)

By Regawa Paramasiddi, 2004

Regawa Paramasiddi : Vocal, Acoustic Guitars, Electric guitars, Bass, Drums, Keyboards
M. Arisyahrazad : Keyboards

LAST DRIPS OF TEARS

Watching waves break with crashing sounds beside the ocean
So peaceful yet so scared, ..I’m so scared
Lover, how we were the ones who lit the fire
So why am I curious?
Did we burn ourselves cause now that we’re dying

Caught between the persistence of Jekyll
And the breaking urge of Mr.Hyde
Lover, guess I have to say goodbye
Cause I stopped and I can go no further

Please leave me, I’m so lonely
Walk away please, and you’ll be happy
And I’ll fight the nights to the last drips of tears from my heart

Ooohhh..
No baby, please, save yourself
And I’ll just go and save mine

Darling, do you know I cry in sleep and sober?
I’m desperate but still I have to hold on
Tying down my soul, it screams and cries
Kill myself in torturing solitude

Oohh..

Definition (lyric)

By Raygava, 2004

Raygava : Vocal, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitars, Bass, Drums

DEFINITION

History repeating
As we tuck ourselves in dreams
To those things that we had seen
Do you think they’re cheating?
And you begin to stop and think
Why they exist and you extinct

You know you’ve survived those times to differentiate
You feel you’d rather stay
The sum of your fears that has begun to escalate
Will make you hate to leave

Discover the missing of a miracle
To bring out the truth to you
Define what you said as something beautiful
A dream that might not come true

Are we really happy?
Driving past the countryside
Having thoughts of strings and kites
Do you feel uncommon?
Insecure, you’re looking back
Wishing more like Gregory Peck

And you know we are playing these whole new rounds of cards
You’re asking if you’ve won enough
The time went unseen as we were dancing down the stream
We’re swept away by ages

Discover the missing of a miracle
To bring out the truth to you
Define what you said as something beautiful
A dream that might not come true

Yeeaaah
No,.. I’m stealing all the time, I’m beating on the drums
And I know that this will end, But I’m too young. Too young

back to reff.



Comments from Raygava:
Definition is one of the most unique songs i've ever written. Under a heavy influence of Jeff Buckley at that time, I dealt a lot with sorrow and sadness. But definition is more about frustration, a song of quarter life crisis. The time when you realise that your past had passed you by, you wish you could go back but you couldn't.
You know you’ve survived those times to differentiate
You feel you’d rather stay
--> in your younger years (college years), you had spent times trying to differentiate yourself from others, with your fashion statements, music statements, academic statements, etc. etc. being different was you goal!
But working life is all about being common. being in a uniform of activities!

Define what you said as something beautiful
A dream that might not come true
--> What is something beautiful? something we may never know what. Even now i still don't know. You had wished to finish college as fast as u can and start work. But then you realised that college life was probably one of the happiest moments in your life. It became a dream... that will never come true.

Insecure, you’re looking back
Wishing more like Gregory Peck
--> this part has two meanings. wishing more like gregory peck can be translated to wishing to be in the past. In those eras of black and white films. But,.. it could also describe Gregory Peck in the movie "Roman Holiday", where at the end of the movie, he looked back, seing Audrey Hepburn on her throne, a relationship he may never have. Then he walked on to the exit door.. Much of the feeling you'd have looking at your past, wishing to go back, but you could not.

Kedua Tercantik (lyric)

By Raygava, 2001

Raygava : Vocal, Acoustic Guitars, Maracas, Bongos, Jam Blocks, Cowbell, Floor drums, Woodpecker
M. Arisyahrazad : Bass, Tamborine

KEDUA TERCANTIK

Maafkan diriku, tidak pilih kamu
Karena kau hanya yang kedua tercantik dari kelima gebetanku
Lagipula kau tidak begitu pintar

Maafkan aku sayang, aku tidak tahan
Melihat kelakuanmu yang kadang tak pikir dulu
Peduli hanya akan penampilanmu

Walau kau memang cantik namun sayang kau bukan model
Tidak seperti dua gebetanku yang lain
Padahal aku ingin pacar yang terkenal
Semoga aku tak kan menyesal

Hidup tidak panjang, Bosan hidup lajang
Aku harus cari calon istri yang soleh dan baik hati
Maafkan aku bila itu bukan kamu

----

Walau kau memang cantik namun sayang kau bukan model
Tidak seperti dua gebetanku yang lain
Padahal aku ingin pacar yang terkenal
Semoga aku tak kan menyesal

Hidup tidak panjang, Bosan hidup lajang
Aku harus cari calon istri yang soleh dan baik hati
Maafkan aku bila itu bukan kamu
Maafkan aku bila itu bukan kamu
Maafkan aku bila itu bukan kamu

Antara Sakit dan Setan

Antara Sakit dan Setan...
Antara kumbang dan macan...
Tak akan ada habisnya perdebatan ini.. karena kau yang setan dan aku yang sakit!

Kapten: Aku sakiiiiiiiit!.. sesakit-sakitnya..(sunyi)
Aku hancuuuuuuur!.. sehancur-hancurnya..
Menjadi debu... dan tertiup angin..(kapten bertekuk lutut, dengan kedua tangannya dikepal di depan dadanya, dengan muka meringis)

Nakhoda: (datang dengan terhuyung-huyung) Tapi ini semua ngaco karena kau.. kau yang ngaco..
kau setan!.. sesetan-setannya..

Kapten: Sudah jelaslah setannya bukan padaku. (menepuk dadanya) Aku bukanlah setan. Karena aku sakit!..(menepuk kembali dadanya)
jelas bukan?
....
Ini semua ngaco karena ia!.. ia yang setan!.. sesetan-setannya! (dengan jari menunjuk ke arah barat)

Nakhoda: Mungkin kau sakit tapi mungkinkah kau setan dalam saat yang bersamaan? Sakit tapi setan?

Kapten: Ah tidak! tidak mungkin!Tak ada itu Sakit tapi Setan! Teman tapi mesran mungkin!

Nakhoda: Mesra!

Kapten: Mesra tak berirama dengan setan!!.. (sambil menyalakan pipa nya dg korek api kayu dari saku jaketnya) kau lihat??..Karena memang setan tidak akan mesra! Mesra tidak berirama dengan setan!!

Nakhoda: Sakit adalah sakit!.. dan setan selamanya akan kukutuk!.. Setan kah ia?

Kapten: Ia setan!! ...Sekarang biar semua orang percaya. Karena aku sudah lelah. Lelah menjadi setan, dituduh setan, dan lalu disetani.. apa aku ini petani? yang membuat nasi menjadi ada tapi kok lalu mencari sesuap nasi..?
Mungkin aku petani, tapi jelas aku disetani.
Dan sekarang aku butuh ditemani!...

Cuma kamu yang bisa menjadi setan. Karena aku sakit. Dan kalau aku sakit aku tidak mgkn adalah setan. Dan aku tak mau peduli lagi. aku sakit. dan aku sakit sambil berdiri!.. entah apa itu rasanya.. yah mgkn begini.

Aku sakit.... sesakit-sakitnya!
Aku hancur.. sehancur-hancurnya!
Menjadi debu..,
dan tertiup angin......!

Akhir Masa Muda (lyric)

Regawa Paramasiddi : Vocal, Electric Guitars, Drums, Back Vocals, Cowbell, handclaps
M. Arisyahrazad : Bass, Electric Guitars, Tamborine, handclaps

AKHIR MASA MUDA

Terburu, terburu dirimu
Memutuskan yang belum engkau tahu
Sebilah keyakinan akan kebahagiaan
Namun kebahagiaan belum kau temukan

Terhunus, terhunus kenyataan
Terperangkap belenggu perempuan
Tahukah kamu banyak sekali ikan di lautan
Namun ikan-ikan itu belum kau temukan

Disinikah teman, akhir dari masa muda?
Masih ingin teman, melihat-lihat dunia?

Lelahnya, lelahnya diriku
Selalu menanti akhir minggu
Tidakkah kau ingin kembali lagi berpesta?
Di lantai dansa dikelilingi wanita

Disinikah teman, akhir dari masa muda?
Masih ingin teman, melihat-lihat dunia?

-Break-

Terhunus, terhunus kenyataan
Terperangkap belenggu perempuan
Tahukah kamu banyak sekali ikan di lautan
Namun ikan-ikan itu belum kau temukan

Disinikah teman, akhir dari masa muda?
Masih ingin teman, melihat-lihat dunia?

comments from Raygava:
Akhir masa muda is a song about marriage (if it isn't that obvious, hahhaha)..
It's about witnessing your friend(s) getting married when in fact they (most of 'em) haven't really observed the world (and the options/ opportunities it offers hehehe).
Some people out there think they know what they're doing, they've found what they're lookin for, they are happy..... (most of them are too naive). cz actually sometimes it's all only about emotion in abundance.

I had a friend who dated only once (he was probably already 22 when he found this girl) .. and he's gonna marry this girl... and do you think, he has any legitimate whatsoever to say that he is happy? he has found the one?..
He found ONE fish, for christsake.. ONE !! ONE fish!...
well that's pretty much the story..

The Perfect One vs The Perfect Timing

Marriage: The Perfect One or The Perfect Timing?

The Perfect One
 3

The Perfect Timing
 7

I'm so naive, i choose both pls.
 7

A never ending debate, esp. between men and women.

Anda lebih percaya yg mana:
Marriage: The perfect one atau the perfect timing?

Materi ini telah dibahas bbrp kali dalam diskusi2 informal. Sudah diangkat dalam topik multiply oleh kawan saya jeng mir (maka blog ini pun akan anda temukan di multiply saya berikut polling nya). Sekarang bila opini para laki2 dan para wanita ternyata berbeda, dimanakah kita bisa menemukah titik tengahnya?

Kita tentunya sudah lama mengerti akan kehidupan percintaan, dan pasti di umur2 kalian yg segini (kalo gue sih engga, secara gue masih 19 taun) pasti kalian dah mikirin ke depan kan?
Nah tapi sekarang pertanyaannya, masih naif kah kita untuk masih mempercayai bahwa suatu saat nanti there's gonna be the perfect one and he's gonna come at the perfect time, and you'll get married and live happily ever after??
Does this stupid nonsense dream really exists?.. I know some ppl would probably shout,"yes! cz  It happened to me!".. No but I want a general answer!.

Now since there is no such thing as the perfect person and the perfect timing obtainable together, which do you prefer??... or rather, you believe in..?
Finding the right person..??... or finding the right timing?..

And you know why this is a never ending debate at these ages (once again, your ages!... not my age since I'm still 19. hahahah :D)??..., it's because apparently most women would answer 'the perfect one', and most men would answer 'the perfect timing'.

The story of the perfect couple who never got married
Now I hv few cases showing why men chose the perfect timing:
Pasti sering denger dan liat kan ttg pasangan yg udah pacaran lama? 7 taun lah, 9 taun, 10 taun lah.. Dan ketika mau menikah, tau2 diam2 cowonya selingkuh. Trus next thing u know, pernikahannya batal, dan buntutnya si cowo bbrp bulan/tahun kemudian menikah dg cewe baru ini. Sementara cewe nya yg udah pacaran lama itu end up hancur hatinya. sering bgt kan??

Ini tak lain karena sbnrnya pada saat itu si lelaki gak siap utk nikah. Krn panik, dia cari pelampiasan trakhir/ permainan trakhir/ korban trakhir/ or whateva lah. Jadilah dia berselingkuh dg seorang wanita. Yang mana sementara dia panik krn mikir harus kawin dalam waktu dekat. Dan dan spt gue dah sering cerita ke tmn2 gue, bila laki2 dalam keadaan terdesak dia akan buta dan paling2 ngikutin kata hati nya!!. Apa kata hatinya?... si cewe baru. Kenapa begitu?.. karena memang belakangan intensitas si lelaki dg cewe baru lebih tinggi, didukung jg oleh ke-parno-an psikologis bahwa dia akan menikah (dg cewe yg lama). Jadi pada saat dia menjadi blind dan tidak memiliki access ke SuperEgo nya, maka yg akan diikuti hanya Ego dan mgkn sedikit Id juga, yg tentunya me-refer kepada si cewe yang baru. Inilah sedikit banyak sebab terjadinya kasus2 seperti ini.

It's all about the perfect timing
Atau pernah gak ngeliat cowo yg udah pacaran lama ama cewe yg hampir perfect, misalnya. (perfect dlm arti mis: cantik, baik, pintar, soleh, sayang keluarga, anak baik2, etc.), tapi tau2 malah wanita yg dia end up marrying adalah cewe yg ga ada bagus2nya. Cewe nakal lah, atau cewe yg lebih berantakan lahh..why? why? why???.... kembali lagi ke jawaban mereka. It's all about the perfect timing!!
Wanita yang datang di saat yang tepat, disaat kami siap (walau ga pernah ada kata siap), itu lah yang akan kami nikahi.

Dari beragam laki2 yang masuk ke lab kami, dengan majority umur 22-30 kebanyakan akan mengakui bahwa dirinya tidaklah mencari the perfect one lagi. Yang mau menikah akan mengakui bahwa calon istrinya jauh dari kriteria nya, yang sudah menikah juga mengakui bahwa istrinya dulu dinikahinya walaupun ia tidak memiliki kelebihan2 dibandingkan dg mantan2 pacarnya sebelumnya bahkan mungkin kekurangan yang besar. Mengacu juga ke studi yang dilakukan seorang mahasiswa PhD LSE yg lulusan S1 dari UI psikologi, dikarenakan beberapa korespondennya sama; Salah seorang koresponden bahkan mengakui bahwa ia sangat menyenangi wanita justru karena kekurangan2 mereka. Dikarenakan, katanya, bahwa dirinya sudah sangat perfect, sehingga amat sulit untuk mencari ke-perfect-an dari seorang wanita. Sehingga ia lebih memutuskan untuk mencari ketidak perfect-an dari para wanita sehingga bisa tercapai kerjasama dan hubungan yang lebih pas. Koresponden lain yang juga tak ingin disebut namanya, mengakui dirinya terinspirasi oleh lagu Ada Band yaitu "Karena Wanita ingin dimengerti", dan semenjak itu ia memutuskan untuk terus 'mencoba mengerti' cewe2 yg berkepribadian aneh. Katanya, "Semakin cewenya aneh dan agak2 psycho, semakin menantang untuk dimengerti.."

..Or is it all about the perfect one?
Tapi setelah wawancara demi wawancara dg para wanita, mereka lebih memilih the perfect one. why? why? why??.. Banyak wanita dalam usia2 spt kalian skarang (skali lagi, usia kalian!!!.. HAHAHHAH), yang sebenernya udah siap. Begitu jg dg bbrp wanita yg kami tes dan interview di lab kami. Tetapi mereka juga resah karena mereka tidak bisa kemana2. Nothing they can do, cz they haven't found their so called perfect one yet.

Beberapa dari wanita2 ini adalah wanita2 yg bisa pergi date dg cowo berbeda kira2 2 atau 3 kali seminggu, dan memiliki hubungan dekat dg beberapa pria, atau sibuk dijodoh2kan oleh teman2nya. Namun dengan stok pria yg begitu banyak, yg beberapa tentuny tergila2. Ada yg ngajak kawin lah,, ada yg udah ngajak ketemu orangtuanya lahh.. (Aneh banget sih lo semua cowo2 jaman sekarang!.. psaikoo jg!!..). Tapi... tetap saja mereka tidak segampang itu untuk lalu menikah. ini dikarenakan bahwa bagi mereka The perfect one belum hadir di hati mereka. Dan selama itu belum ada, walaupun mereka mondar mandir sana sini, maen2 cowo sana sini, tetep aja hatinya hampa dan ga mau kawin juga.

Jadi eventhough mereka sudah di 'perfect timing' tapi wanita2 ini blum bisa mau menikah, karena belum ada 'the perfect one' nya.. Riset telah menunjukkan bahwa wanita2 masih mencari kriteria2 ke-perfect-an ini di diri pria, dan ini masih penting. (bandingkan dg para pria yg menerima bahwa wanita2 emang jauh dari perfect: ada yg jelek tapi oke, ada yg cantik bgt tp bego, ada yg oke tapi nakal, etc.).

How it all comes down together
Pria menyadari ktidakperfect-an wanita, mencoba mengerti. Namun tidak akan 'siap' kalau belum tepat waktunya. Sementara Wanita mencari kualitas2 tertentu dari pria (kriteria perfect mereka), namun jauh lebih 'siap' untuk menikah sewaktu2 begitu the perfect one nya ketemu.

Solusinya?..... Yahh berbahagialah bagi pria yg pada perfect timing dimana ia sudah cukup siap, lalu tiba2 ia menemukan wanita yg sbnrnya juga ga gimana2 banget, tapi wanita ini menganggap dia the perfect one.... Nahh beres kann????
Makanya ada lagu. "wanita dijajah pria sejak dulu...".. abisan pria2 pada perfect dan wanita2 kagak.. gmn dong???

comments are most welcome!! :)

Regawa Paramasiddi
Graduate School of Gavaism
Pangudi Luhur Institute of Women Studies
Brawijaya IV, Kebayoran Baru
Jakarta

Pernahkah Anda Merasa Tambah Bego?

Saya sering.

Kayaknya gue jauh lebih pinter akhir taun lalu, disaat gue mengerjakan proyek2 pedestrian movement analysisnya ISP, dengan software MapInfo yang gue kuasai dalam sebulan.

Kayaknya gue jauh lebih pinter awal tahun lalu, disaat gue harus bekutat dengan 9 ujian dalam rentang waktu 2 minggu. Mencoba memahami semua materi2 real estate investment. Something I have never even heard of 2 years before. Ekonomi aja kaga ngarti.. boro2 finance.

Kayaknya gue jauh lebih pinter 2 tahun yang lalu disaat gue harus memanage project renovasi ballroom2 Dharmawangsa bernilai total lebih dari 1 milyar, dg 5 kontraktor+supplier, interior designer dari owner yg cerewet, chef yang berisik banyak maunya, dan only 2 weeks of available working time... gue kerjain sendiri.. selesai.. i dunno how i did it.

Kayaknya gue jauh lebih pinter 5 tahun yang lalu disaat gue berkutik dengan skripsi brilian (kata dosen2 lho) saya ttg blok M..

kayaknya gue jauh lebih pinter 15 tahun yang lalu.. disaat gue dengan yakinnya ngasih tau jawaban soal essay trakhir matematika kelas 6 yang paling susah... i was kelas 5 at that time. The 6th grade kid came to my class and thanked me the day after. Never know how i did it...

NOW?
gue ga lain dari seorang musisi.... tepatnya, seorang pengangguran, pemabuk, tukang hura-hura..
Kepala gue udah pusing banget beberapa hari ini. Terlalu banyak alkohol, cimeng, rokok, alkohol, cimeng, rokok, selama 4 bulan gue di Jakarta.
Tinggal beberapa taun lagi gue begini, maka gaya ngomong gue bakal dah kayak bimbim slank.
Uang2 tabungan gue menurun drastis... But those girls, those alcohols, those marijuanas, will never be enough.
My life has never been this complicated.. but I'm enjoying every second of it.

So here is the new Raygava....
one who doesn't care anymore about social and economical background, intellectual, knowledge, maturity, politics, ethics, politeness.. one who doesn't care much anymore about the system. yet I feel more free than ever...

you should try it!
why not?
Everyone wants to be a success.. So what? nuthin new there.. Look at all those morons who keep chasing their stupid 'money dreams' (i call it money dreams, cz i know tey're all driven by money)... so yeah everyone wants to work abroad.... everyone wants to be a manager somewhere... everyone wants to be rich. Everyone wants to be in the system!!. C'mon be a bit creative!

Mungkin gue lebih bodoh... mungkin gue makin bodoh...

Tapi mungkin juga gue lebih pintar... dan mungkin juga gue makin pintar..

Drugs and Medicine

So, mari kita beri polling. (kacang poling). Jujur, apakah pasangan (atau pria/wanita yg paling dekat dg anda) menurut diri anda adalah drug bagi anda.. ataukah medicine?

Ya, dia memang Drug!!.. very very very addictive, tapi gue merasa sifat2nya ga bagus buat tar jangka panjang deh..
 2

Hmm.. Mgkn lebih ke Medicine kali yah? gue jg ga demen bgt tapi kyknya bagus aja buat long termnya..
 4

Kata 'drug' memiliki konotasi yang lebih buruk dibandingkan dengan 'medicine'. 'Drug' kerap diterima sebagai sesuai yg adiktif yg padahal kita tahu tidak memiliki manfaat bahkan memberikan kerugian.
Sementara 'Medicine' kerap diterima sebagai hal yg menyembuhkan.

Apabila kita merasakan diri kita begitu terikat, begitu terpaku, begitu terhipnotis oleh seseorang, dan lalu kita sebut seseorang tersebut 'drug'; maka seseorang itu sebenarnya di bawah sadar kita sebenarnya telah kita terima sebagai hal yg buruk dan memberi pengaruh negatif kepada diri kita.
Inilah yang kerap manusia, kita, tidak sadarkan diri. Merasakan kebutuhan yang tinggi bahkan kadang absolut akan kehadiran/ cinta/ kasih/ sayang/ perhatian seseorang itu memang normal. Namun kadang bila diperhatikan, ada masa2 dimana kita akan bilang (mgkn ke diri kita sendiri): "She/he's a drug!!.. and I can't stop!!".... atau "Gila nih cewe/cowo, bikin gue sakau"....
Nah, maka tanpa sadari sebenarnya kita sudah menaruh diri orang tersebut ke kelompok yg negatif. Maka dalam logikanya seharusnya manusia bisa lalu berusaha keras untuk berhenti dan tidak lagi 'mengharapkan' hal2 yg positif dari sebuah 'drug'. Kita semua tahu bahwa berhenti dari drug itu memang sulit, namun drug (literally) lebih secara sadar kita terima sebagai hal yg buruk dan tak bermanfaat, sehingga terbentuk self concious yg lebih besar utk berhenti.
Masalahnya bahwa hal ini tidak berlaku bagi hubungan sosial/cinta manusia, dimana manusia sbagai makhluk pemaaf lebih kerap memberikan maaf dan mengharapkan perubahan dan hal2 yg positif untuk terjadi. Padahal titik dimana kita menyebut seseorang sbg 'drug' harusnya sudah diakui sebagai titik dimana kita tau orang itu tdk memiliki manfaat dan malah merugikan, yg seharusnya membuat diri kita manusia lebih gampang untuk lalu menyadari kerugian2 yg telah dan akan terjadi dan lalu pergi.

Demikian kiranya renungan singkat dari saya...
Sehingga mungkin bisa direnungkan..

siapakah Drug dan siapakah Medicine di hidup anda???..

Apakah pacar anda membuat diri anda merasa dia seperti 'drug'? berarti itu tidaklah sehat. Dan sudah selayaknya anda pergi.

Apakah gebetan anda/ selingkuhan anda/ mantan pacar anda membuat anda merasa dia seperti 'drug'?.. maka sebaiknya pula kita berhenti dan move on...
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Medicine bisa jadi rasanya tidak enak dan memiliki efek samping yg sering mengganggu, namun ia menyembuhkan secara long term.
Drug bisa jadi rasanya nikmat dan membuat kita senang, namun menghancurkan secara long term.
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