To The Better Place We Seek

Eid is the day of forgiving. It has been one special day we forgive people around us. But it’s still hard for me (and I think will always be) to forgive that beetch (or, famously known as ‘the biyotch’).

So do u think maybe I should rephrase the introduction words above?

Alrite..

Eid has been one special day for us to forgive people around us ‘we loved’. Hahahaha.

But no, cause I did love that damn biyatch, before she turned into a bloodsuckin’ biyotch. But hey rega, cmon. It should be a day of forgiving, so at least u could stop cursing..

Eid is also a day of contemplating and reminiscing. My 1.5 years (more) in Indonesia has been quite an interesting journey. I’m talking of love life here, btw. Who cares about career? Work sucks, man! I am now writing from a laptop in Delhi, India. And I remembered perfectly the last time I came here. It was sometime in April 2006. I remembered that I was constantly texting and constantly calling a certain woman, who has a birth month of February, cause I gave her few jewelleries made from Amethyst. So you my closest friends would know who it was for she has been my eternal crush no.1, my 10 years affair. There was also the presence of the biyotch actually (in that 2006 trip), cause I did brought her several items from turquoise, the stone for the people with birth month of December. But hell, I dun wanna speak of the biyotch anymore. Let her roam free in her biyotchful-artificial-dream.

To think that I could be with just about anyone by now, and it’s always fun to think how it would be like if my life did proceed with one of the women in my last 1.5 yrs (more, really). I could be with AG, rite? But then there was DB. And then there was VI. But later on there was DI, and then also DH. Then LS came along, but disrupted by the presence of IN. which all finally dropped cause at the end I chose SN. There are few others in between but don’t wanna recall. Even sometimes when I see a title of a movie in the past, I can no longer recall whom I went to see that movie with. But the regretful biyotch has been the major title of my life since I got back to Indonesia. Her biyotch act is somewhat unforgiven. It would be easy for people to think that I still have something for dat damn biyotch. But to be honest, no. And this is also why it’s so much fun doing this reminiscing thing. The more I think about biyotch, and the more I think about my past, the more I realise how much I love SN.

I’m not a bastard or a player, but I can say that I’ve been here and there. And it has been my objective to venture about seeking the closest-to-best. And remember what I always say, best is best for each of us. Each of our bests is unique. The perfect woman for you may not be the perfect one for others. That’s why I often said, the ‘best guy’ (in gavaism term) may not be the most handsome bastard who dated the most beautiful women in Jakarta, but the ‘best guy’ is the one who knows his playing-field and the one who’s very much aware of what he’s looking for. Back to the topic, yes I realise how special SN is. Biyotch was special. She was the ‘special one’ (not to be confused with Mourinho the ‘special one’). But her act of biyotchness opened few horizons. Anyone CAN be your special one. But you have to choose yourself. As I mentioned before, I could be with A, or B, or C, or X. DI was nice, but not for me. AG is the most beautiful, but she was just harder to trust. DH was just a total mess. LS and IN were great women and yes they can be special. But SN was more special cause she was the one who were able to wipe out clean LS and IN from my life in one time. She was the one who made me do that (dropped affairs with 2 women simultaneously). I’m not even sure if biyotch could do that. And she changed me, and stopped me from ‘roaming’ my jungle. Hahaha.. enjoyed my time, btw. But really could’ve done more. But anyway, she did change me. That’s what made her more special than all others I’ve encountered in the past 1.5 yrs or so. I don’t have to work hard to trust her, cause I find myself more difficult to trust. Hahaha…

So what’s my point? My point is:

DAMN U BIYOTCH!! YOU CAN JUST GO TO HELL…

BUT HAPPY IDUL FITRI..!! AND PLEASE FORGIVE MY MISTAKES IN THE PAST (including what I’ve just said)… HA HA

No no no… hahahhaa.. I was just kidding. really.

The point I really wanna make is, Eid is the day of reminiscing (Gosh, I’m repeating myself). So it is important for us to reminisce, track down our faults. Discovering mistakes can be easy. But what’s more important is LEARNING from our faults. Do not repeat mistakes! Find our way to the better place we seek.

Yes maybe I have been a bastard, a heartless bastard, to some people. I have done mean deeds. But all to give me mistakes for me to learn from. Sharpen my instincts. Not for me to ‘roam’ again and again, and hurt more feelings. But instincts for me to know what I really seek from a woman and to realise who has the qualifications to stop me from my journey (doesn’t really matter if it’s for temporary or permanent).

My time here in India has given me space to think and to recall the events I’ve encountered. (or specifically in this matter, the women I’ve come across, especially at the end of the biyotch era). And at the end, it cannot be more satisfying than knowing that you’ve done your best, you’ve learnt your best, and you’ve come out with the best result!

So go and track back your mistakes. Recall your mean endeavours. And use your mistakes to move towards your better life. Be it love life, career life, family life, etc.

HAPPY IDUL FITRI

MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIDZIN

MOHON MAAF LAHIR DAN BATIN

Ps: don’t forget the first rule of Gavaism study: in order to understand love thoroughly, you have to understand pain thoroughly! Take the risk, jump to the fire, and learn your best!