Di Jakarta, Anda Bukan Siapa-siapa

Basi ah ngomong dg bahasa inggris..plus my english sucks... mendingan pake bahasa indonesa nyang mhantebb..

Sebenernya gue pengen ceritain ini dah dari minggu lalu.. cuman yahh gpp lah.. at least harus dikeluarkan.. biar orang2 tahu..

okeh.. jadi judul ceritanya adalah:
"Di Jakarta anda bukan siapa-siapa"

(Catatan: Jakarta disini gak berarti murni Jakarta as a city.. tapi lebih sbagai metafor akan Indonesia.. or home.. so no offense buat yg bukan anak jakarta.. krn bisa aja jakarta disini metafor kota anda)
Di Jakarta anda bukan siapa-siapa. Yak benar!!!..
bingung??..
Jakarta dalah gudang dari segala gudang dari segala hal Indonesian.
Cewe2 Indonesia paling cantik yah di Jakarta.. Cowo2 Indonesia yg paling ganteng, atau bodinya paling oke.. atau paling hebat.. semua ada di Jakarta..
Lo pikir persaingan pekerjaan paling berat bagi manusia Indonesia ada dimana?.. New York?.. London..? Singapore?.. salah berat.. persaingan paling berat ada di Jakarta.. Karena percaya ato engga orang2 pinter yg di jakarta bisa jadi jauh lebih pinter dari orang2 Indo yg kerja di Merril Lynch di NY... ato orang-orang yg kerja di Deutsche Bank di London..
Di Jakarta, lulusan s2 numpuk dimana2.. dari mulai lulusan MM-UI, PrasMul,.. sampe lulusan2 dari luar negeri, dari mulai Harvard, LBS, RSM, sampe universitas2 kacangan dari segala penjuru dunia.. Semua numpuk di Jakarta.. mencari pekerjaan bagus dng gaji tinggi?.. Lo pikir kerja di luar negeri hebat?... lihat2 lagi.. LIhat ke kampung lo yg udah selama ini lo lupakan.. betapa di sana lo bakal bertempur lebih keras.
Di Jakarta, anda bukan siapa2.. Karena di Jakarta, musisi2 paling talented ada segudang dan udah numpuk... dari mulai pemain gitar jazz lulusan Berkeley, presenter radio yg juga frontman sebuah band dg skill gitar yg mantab, .. itu baru bbrp temen2 gue yg gue kenal deket... gimana yg laen2 yg gue gak kenal?? .....intinya, you are nothing!!!!..
temen2 gue maen di Java jazz di lebih dari 2 band!!.. sinting ga??.. YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!
Di Jakarta lo bukan siapa2.. Karena lo jadi gak begitu cantik... dan gue jadi gak ganteng sama sekali (itu sih dimanapun kali yah??,, hahaha).. you are nothing!..you are no one..!!
Ini semua gara2 minggu lalu 2 orang sahabat gue mengutarakan hal yg serupa dan bener2 ngingetin gue.. yg intinya adalah bahwa saat gue balik ke Indo. gue bukan siapa2.,.. krn nobody cares abt me.. gue bukan org penting...gue manusia biasa2 aja.. Permainan gitar gue, skill bikin lagu gue,.. semuanya super super cemen dibanding org2 lain di Jakarta...
Isi otak gue..ilmu gue.. dan pengalaman gue semuanya super cemen dibanding anak2 indo laen yg udah kena tamparan2 keras persaingan kapitalis di Jakarta (yg harus diakui makin lama makin ga sehat.. tp apa boleh buat?)...
gue pikir gue lulusan Cass bisa jadi org hebat?.. gue pikir gue sbg MSc Real Estate Inv. bisa berbuat banyak di industri real estate indo??.. TEEEETTTT.. wrong!.. maybe not!... di Indo juga byk lulusan2 top 20 dari US.. ato skalian deh ..lulusan2 Harvard, MIT, Columbia.. sekolah2 yg nolak lo.. mana bisa lo jadi hebat??..You are nobody..
gue pikir gue bisa berbuat banyak di dunia musik??.. mengandalkan skill bikin lagu gue plus skill maen gitar gue??.. ya elahhh gaaa.. orang kyk elo ada kali ratusan juga di Jakarta.. You are not special.. you are nobody!!...
Belum lagi dg persaingan musik di Indo yg udah 100x lebih ketat dibanding dulu pas lo masih SMA.. ato engga 100x lipet dari apa yg lo bayang2kan/ impi2kan dari jauh dari London..
gue pikir gue bisa kembali lagi connect dg pergaulan jkt skrg?.. dg cewe2 jkt skrg?...lo pikir lo bisa ber'gavaisme' lagi di Jakarta?.... hmmm.. TEETTT. think again.. maybe not!/... cos you are nobody.. ganteng kaga.. tajir kaga (bandingin sama anak2 borju yg disekolahin keluar negeri yg selama ini gue selalu tentang.. yahh mana ada apa-apa nya lo dibanding mereka2 yg spend berribu2 pounds buat biaya hidup sebulan)... gimana gue mau bikin mabok cewe2 matre jakarta coba?...wong anak2 sekarang makin borju2.... hahahah
gue am nobody!.. not rich!.. not 'money'!... not interesting..
itu gue ambil contoh diri gue sendiri.. dan itu bisa direfleksikan ke hidup siapa aja.
So.. mari kita sama2 refleksi dan lihat hidup kita....
(terutama buat yg masih pada di luar negeri)
apakah kita masih merasa kita hebat?..
merasa diri kalian cantik dan bakal laku??..
merasa diri kalian pinter dan bakal sukses kalo balik?...
merasa diri kalian yg bekerja di luar adalah lebih hebat dari temen2 kalian yg di Jakarta?
merasa diri kalian lebih berbakat dan lebih punya kesempatan?...
itu semua namanya 'efek fatamorgana'. Dimana lo merasa melihat air.. dari kejauhan.. tapi yah air itu justru terlihat karena kalian jauh.. kalo kalian dekati yah yg ada hanyalah permukaan yg panas dari sinar matahari yg terik..
duhh.. kyknya brarti kita harus mikir2 lagi kali yah?...

Say No to Money...... once again.....

sometimes I think God is being too nice to me. God always does.
From high school Ive learned that life is all about choices and the act of choosing...
Ive been choosing my way since then.. finding my path.. opening numerous doors that were in front of me. Jumping over hurdles..

I have made decisions..and some controversial ones.. I've chosen a degree in architecture over an opportunity in music ....Ive chosen being alone over being with someone I love...  I've chosen a degree in Real Estate over an increase of salary and higher position in the company .. and now I choose an opportunity in music over poundsterling salaries and a career in London.... so many people think I am crazy.. Hell.. maybe I am.. even sometimes I think I am crazy..

God has been so nice.. But having options after options can be tiring.
Today I am happy..I thank God.... Alhamdulillah.. but..
it's too much.. even at the last minute, God keeps providing me with options..
And once again//yes once again... I have to say no to money!!... ...

But it's just me.. Maybe I dont really want money.. LIE !!.. hahhahaa.. I do need money.. hell, we all need money.. But I dont need it as much as the common people who put money over happiness, over family, over friends, over love, over life..even sometimes over something as simple as career..I think that may be the only difference.
Yes.. Alhamdulillah ya Tuhan.. but I dont need it.. I dont need this option cos I have decided to go back.. 60% of my soul has already landed at Cengkareng.. hahahhahaa. for the sake of my life, my smile, my happiness.. crazy choice.. and very risky..
But please.. give it to the other guys.. give this opportunity to my friends who needs it more than me..

so if i now ask you guys this simple question... can u really find your own answer for it?..
Which do you prefer now? being common?.. or being not?

The Galau Times : by the man of the past

I wish.. skrg taun 1998..

diiringi lagu Aku Cinta Kau dan Dia dari Ahmad Band, gue menjejakkan kaki di Bandung. Memfamiliarisasikan diri dengan kehidupan baru, kota baru, a new chapter of my life I never realised gonna be that precious.. The precious start!

Diiringi lagu Dont wanna miss a thingnya Aerosmith, gue begadang bersama temen2 baru gue..ngerjain tugas buat dikumpulin ke senior esok hari. Deg-degan karena swasta (buat yg gak kuliah di indo, ini istilah buat senior2 yg =>4 taun diatas kita, alias dah senior bgt) besok mau dateng dan as usual marah2 ama kita. I learned about Bandung, I learned about being Mahasiswa, I learned about life....
I wish skrg 1998. gue makan di K-One Els sama anak2 jengkis..kita bikin film Perjeti (Pergaulan Jengki Sejati)... sahur bareng di kantin tubagus... ke cafe2 rame2.. joget2 kyk anak SMA tengil yg baru jadi anak kuliahan.. diiringi lagu2 dari All bout the money dari Meja atau Blur, dimana di panggung bisa bawain lagu2 Acid Jazz sama si Mhala (S Band.. maksudnya dibaca Esben, mata kuliah Estetika Bentuk).. atau lagu2 Indies sama si Rere bersama Indische Partij yg later on menjadi (The Bandung) Void...
I wish.. skrg 1998. Pacar gue mgkn di Jakarta.. but I was having a hell of a time.

I wish.. skrg taun 2000....

Disaat lagu2 seperti Incubus jadi ada dimana2. Disaat semua org denger linkin park dan Limp Bizkit. VCD2 bajakan linkin park dan band2 yg beken saat itu beredar dari mulai emperan BIP sampe bazaar2 Unpar di GSG (gedung serbaguna)... Disaat uang terasa seret namun makanan2 tidak ada habis nikmatnya. I was a lot tougher.. tougher than 2 yrs before.. with the downside of being much more cynical in life. I judge people. was not very good. But Bandung, as always, was a very nice place to live in. Although i hated it so much. Kept wishing why i couldnt go back to jakarta like those guys who studied politics, economics, law.. damn shit.. I studied architecture, busted my ass off (without knowing that we will be the toughest working-lowest paid ppl in the whole damn world.. syiit! life aint fair.. but then again it never is). I missed most of the parties in those glorious rave resurrection. I blamed most on Bandung.

But still.. I wish it is yr 2000, where my life had no meaning.. not much goal within sight. Gue bakal pulang maen gitar.. nongkrong.. minum.. minum.. giting... minum.. giting.... minumm.. tanpa sadar hal ini bakal bikin usus gue dan lambung gue makin tipis dan bikin perut gue masalah untuk seluruh sisa hidup gue. damn..

I wish it is still 2000.. dimana seharusnya gue sadar gue masih punya byk waktu tersedia.. of course mgkn gue tetep akan minum dan giting terus.. gak akan berubah juga.. tapi mgkn gue akan lebih semangat buat nyari arti hidup.. at least for that short period of time.. I could play more often with my bands..entah yg mana. Or I couldve set up another band?.. or I couldve done someting else.. damn damn damn.. I wish it is year 2000.

I wish now is 2000.. I am cynical as hell... I hate Bandung more than anything.. not knowing that a deep love for the shithole will emerge from deep inside my heart.

Gue bakal bayar berapa aja buat kmbali.... Gue bakal bunuh siapa aja buat supaya gue bisa balik ke situ.. syiiitt meeenn.. Tuhan canggih juga yah.. bisa bikin waktu dan masa lalu jadi lebih berharga dari cewe manapun.. lebih berharga dari emas, berlian, atau bentuk bling2 lainnya... and you should know that.. For life is more precious than any women in this earth (or any men for you women)..more precious than any f@ck1n expensive paid jobs and top-of-the-mountain-careers... MY LIFE.. YOUR LIFE!.. SEIZE IT !!!.. CARPE DIEM

kali ini 2 era dulu yah.. masih byk era2 lain yg bisa gue jelasin lain kali.. save it for later..kekkeke..
well my point is.. life is full of chapters.. And you have your own.. as I have mine. And you should well aware now, as adult-wise-and-mature-beings, that those chapters will never occur again. You will never be the same.. Jakarta will never be like it was.. Bandung, Semarang, London, New York,.. name it.. name yourself a place, a time, .. picture yourself, picture some people, picture a moment... and yes.. you get yourself a free time machine!..
Gue mengenang masa lalu... karena gue tau hidup gak bisa ngulang.. and I should always cherish everyday.. cos it will be a part of my past, in the future..
so.. Choose Life!.. choose Now !!.. choose your Past !!!!..

Sebulan Lagi . . .

Sebulan lagi...
gue akan bahagia.. gue akan tenang.. gue akan nyengir..

Sebulan lagi..
gue akan sibuk jalan2, berolahraga kembali, bermain musik lg..

Sebulan lagi..
hidup gue akan berubah..

namun..

2 bulan lagi...
gue akan sedih.. gue akan kangen.. gue akan rindu..

2 bulan lagi..
gue akan bertanya-tanya.. gue akan inget.. gue akan mengenang kalian semua..

it is not that I dont know....
I KNOW . . .