The Weirdos (Episode 2: The Weird Suicidal-Sissy Man)

The Weird Suicidal-Sissy Man

Just for a case study:
There is (or was? maybe he's dead now?) a strange guy. And what makes him strange is bcoz he's quite tall. I'd say around 6'0'' or 6'1". He is skinny, with a pony tail on the back of his hair. He has beards and moustaches on his face, wears a tight jeans btw.. hahaa... but,... he acts like a woman!
Not really act like a woman, as you'd see gays (the bitches) do. But he's so sensitive that i'd say he's more sissy than a woman!.... hahhahhahhaa

He had (or maybe have) this crush on an-also-weird woman (we'll discuss abt her next episode), but dunno what happened, he just couldn't manage to get this girl to be his girlfriend (well, maybe he should, then they would be the weirdest couple and they should have weird childrens, and live on an island by themselves and create a new weirdo colony.. hahahhaha.. this is a joke i hv with my friends btw). Well anyway, he's so possesive and strangely over-attached to this girl, that if something happened, if they have a quarrel, then he would go 'ngambek' and cause uneasiness to all his surroundings.

When the girl (drunk) wanted me to accompany her to the bathroom (in a club somewhere in Kemang few mths ago), and pulled my hand, this guy suddenly tapped me in the back.
He said,"take a good care of her!"..
I was drunk,.. but dude, 'pliss deh'! I could still see how pathetic you were!.. What?? couldnt get her? well that's ur problem!.. and u wanna act like her 'best friend' all this time????.. ohhh mannn.. that is just what all those sissy men do! make your 'gebetan' your best friend!.. well dont!..
siissy.... sissyy... sissy... hahahahha!!..

another time, i was gonna take this girl for dinner,.. and suddenly he seemed to be very very jealous, and got really 'ngambek' once again. This girl then felt uneasy, thinking what could make her 'best friend' mad at her?.. And I was so sick (of them) that after that event I didn't want to have anything to do with those two weirdos. but no.. this girl's episode will come next.. so this time, it's abt this pathetic guy first!..

What's worse.. a few weeks later, this guy started to terrorise my friend (another girl). He said he is all fucked up and he wanted to die. The day after he sent another text to my friends saying he was ready if he should die tomorrow... hahahhaha..
It's just too bad, my friend was thinking of replying the text with the following, but decided not to: "Alhamdulillah, we as human should always be prepared!".. hahhahah
oohhhh shitt... this guy was just the freakiest and weirdest guy i've ever met. Later on, he became clingy to this friend of mine..(he used to like her as well).. ohh ohhhh./.. so weiirrrdddddd.. and so girlyyyy!!

Damn... i'm having trouble describing the events in words!...

________________________________________________________________________
Well, what this guy represent is a person, a man, who is basically a loser!.. or maybe he's not a man?.. hahahha
-He couldn't get women to be his girlfriends, so he made them his 'best friends'. this is just what losers do.
-He's always jealous when the girl went out with a guy, and he always go 'ngambek' sendiri. hahahhaha.. loserr !!.. hahhahaha
-He has a destructive mood that can kill the fun mood whenever all the guys r hangin out.
it's like he has this big signboard with blinking lamps on his forehead, saying "NO FUN!"
hahhahahhahahhaha...
-He exaggerates alot. saying he's ready to die and all. pliss deh.. life is just so worthy, that u'd be a total freak to mention 'wanting to die' to get people's sympathy. U wanna be suicidal?.. well then what r u doin here? go ahead and die!.. it'd be much better for others!.. hahahha

ahhhh enough!.. can't say anymore!..
well if u think u r like him.. then don;t do it!.. if you can;t get your women, don't make them your best friends! (unless u can really stop hoping alias 'ngarep').. mood disorder and big exaggeration are just fatal mistakes which make u even more pathetic and even more like losers!! Cz friends don;t like it (that's why u don't have friends, i guess.. hahhaha)
loserr ..loser.. loseeerr..!! freak freak freaaaakk!!!.. hahhahahhah
weirdoooooooooo..

have u seen similar cases? i bet u have. cz i'm sure there are quite a lot of ppl like this guy i picked on.

Thrills of Love (lyric)

by Raygava London 2005
Raygava: Vocal, Back Vocal, Guitars Ardhini Citrasari: Bass Rahmad Ade: Drums

Thrills of Love

I'm missing the thrills of love, tonight..
I'm looking forward for some loving delight

I want some more of your smiles, your hugs and chocolate kisses...
that's the kick of love

I want some more of those niggles, tingles, missing you...
Oh that's why that's why

I'm missing the thrills of love ..
Like a pirate missing his treasure cove ..

I want some more of your smiles, your hugs and chocolate kisses...
that's the kick of love
I want some more of those niggles, tingles, missing you...
Oh that's the thrills of love

I want some more of your smiles, your hugs and chocolate kisses...
that's the kick of love
I want some more of those niggles, tingles, missing you...
Oh that's the thrills of love

Where I Belong (lyric)

by: Raygava, London, 2004

Raygava: Vocal, Back Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar
Ardhini Citrasari: Bass
Rachmad Ade: Drums

WHERE I BELONG

Lately I've been thinking
Staring at my bedroom ceiling
Outside is raining
And it seems that it will keep on falling
And my empty thoughts are running to seek refuge from my fears
of being alone

Lost in the crowds of the mystified people
Standing by myself on an empty train to Heathrow
Looks like I'm just the only one who feels like runnning away
listen....

I'm just aching for the love before
The ray of sun at half past four
The warmth of kisses from loving lips
It's just a place... Where I belong

opening the window waiting for the snow
I'm screaming in my heart counting months to go
Ohh eventhough..
Inside the rush of people but I still feel lonely wherever I go
I'm thinking...

I'm just aching for the love before
The ray of sun at half past four
The warmth of kisses from loving lips
It's just a place... Where I belong

Oh I wanted to speak and I just couldn't sleep to the end
And I'm drowning to deep need to go back to where I came
My hurt my pain
it will still remain
if I'm far away .. away from you



comments by Raygava:
Where I Belong is about love!... the love for your home (wherever it may be, in my case it is Indonesia). No matter where I am, stranded alone.. I will never forget how beautiful my country is. The shades of the trees, the people who know you best, the bright sunshine, etc.etc.!.. words are not enough!
This song came out straight from my heart. I wanted people to understand how it feels to love your country, especially when you are far away.
Standing by myself on an empty train to Heathrow
Looks like I'm just the only one who feels like runnning away
--> describes how almost all indonesian (then, when i was in London), loved London so much. None wants to go back. People who have money returned home that winter break. I didn't have much, but I missed my home. I did not see why Indonesians have to hate their own country so much. Most Indonesians who live abroad speak good things of the country they live in. Why can't they see the good things in Indonesia? Most Indonesians who live abroad in developed countries would like to stay forever in that country. why? Is Indonesia not good enough?..
Do they forget how warm the sunshine is? the people is? the food is?..
That winter end of 2004, I swear I wanted to hop onto the Picadilly line straight to heathrow. But i knew it's only gonna be myself (the only Indonesian) standing there wishing to return home.

Berhenti Darimu (lyric)

By Raygava, 2003

Raygava : Vocal, Electric Guitars, Bass, Drums
M. Arisyahrazad : Synthesizer, Electric guitar
Endrian Kolopaking : Electric guitar

BERHENTI DARIMU

Berlari darimu, sampai kapan itu takkan pernah membantu
Menepis dirimu, terlalu sulit dilakukan saat itu

Lagi aku mencoba untuk alihkan dirimu dari pikirku
Kau kembali menghantui lorong-lorong mimpiku
Satu yang harus engkau tahu,

Renungan malam ini takkan menjadi berarti bila kau masih belum sendiri
Percuma aku berdiri menghabiskan tenaga di hati
Ku harus berhenti darimu

Darimu, kudapatkan semua
Darimu, engkau impianku semata
Seluruh masa, berlalu hilang langsung seketika

Hari-hari masih terasa terlalu menyiksa, aku bertanya
Kau kembali menghantui pelosok isi jiwa
Kukatakan satu hal saja

Renungan malam ini takkan menjadi berarti bila kau masih belum sendiri
Percuma aku berdiri menghabiskan tenaga di hati
Ku harus berhenti mencintaimu

Terlalu usang hatiku menantikan dirimu, sendiri
Berubah sakit semua mimpi-mimpi indahku, tentangmu
Tenggelam aku didalam genangan cintamu

Renungan malam ini takkan menjadi berarti bila kau masih belum sendiri
Percuma aku berdiri menghabiskan tenaga di hati
Ku harus berhenti darimu

comments from raygava:
My favorite song in terms of musical arrangements!... I love the composition. When I first wrote the songs, I did not expect the song to come out like this. I looooveee the sound of my guitar!!.. I predicted it to be just so-so, another song you would put in the middle or bottom of the order, songs you won't pay much attention to. But it came out starking. everytime I listen to the clean sounds of the vintage 1962 Jazzmaster, and the voxy sound of the synth, I find the gloominess of the song, but at the same time there are also love, warmth, and the monotonous fills that give you the expression of life's dullness.

The song itself tells the story of a guy who is on the verge of stealing someone's lover. And if you understand quite a lot about this, in the process there will always be a point when the future is being discussed and the woman will have to make a decision. This is probably the hardest part of the process, the hardest gamble. They (the man and the woman) will spent numerous hours arguing, fighting, and it will never stop. Never, not if the woman is still in relationship with her boyfriend. Well... sort of like that.

Tanda-tanda (lyric)

By Regawa Paramasiddi, 2003

Raygava : Vocal, Acoustic Guitars, Electric guitars, Bass, Drums, Back Vocals
M. Arisyahrazad : Electric guitars

TANDA-TANDA

Bila ku ikuti kata hati
Kutakut akan menyesal esok hari
Berjalan terus perlahan pasti
Sebelum tahu menetap atau pergi

Tapi seluruh jagat berbunyi, hari ini aku tahu semua
Mungkin ini yang kutunggu, terungkap sudah semua maksud

Tuhan telah memberi aku tanda-tanda tuk tinggalkan dirimu
Walau aku masih ragu
Engkaulah yang selama ini mengerti diriku
Namun aku?… aku ….

Aku memang bukan orang tolol
Tapi semalam terpeleset dan terkilir kakiku
Ban mobilku pecah di jalan tol
Ketika ku akan kembali kepadamu

Tapi seluruh jagat berbunyi hari ini, ungkapkan maksud dengan seribu cara
Untuk meyakinkan kepada diriku, Ini dia jawabanku

Tuhan telah memberi aku tanda-tanda tuk tinggalkan dirimu
Walau aku masih ragu
Engkaulah yang selama ini mengerti diriku
Namun aku?… aku tak tahu

-break-

Tapi seluruh jagat berbunyi hari ini, ungkapkan maksud dengan seribu cara
Untuk meyakinkan kepada diriku, Ini dia jawabanku

Tuhan telah memberi aku tanda-tanda tuk tinggalkan dirimu
Walau aku masih ragu
Engkaulah yang selama ini mengerti diriku
Namun aku?… aku tak tahu

comments:
I love this song to pieces. Probably the most honest song i have ever written. Came out to me exactly after the incident, I tried to memorise it by singing over and over on my way back home. When I reached my house, I bursted into the music room, picked up my guitar and started composing this song. I would say it's probably the best song i have ever written, in terms of how i got the idea.