To The Better Place We Seek

Eid is the day of forgiving. It has been one special day we forgive people around us. But it’s still hard for me (and I think will always be) to forgive that beetch (or, famously known as ‘the biyotch’).

So do u think maybe I should rephrase the introduction words above?

Alrite..

Eid has been one special day for us to forgive people around us ‘we loved’. Hahahaha.

But no, cause I did love that damn biyatch, before she turned into a bloodsuckin’ biyotch. But hey rega, cmon. It should be a day of forgiving, so at least u could stop cursing..

Eid is also a day of contemplating and reminiscing. My 1.5 years (more) in Indonesia has been quite an interesting journey. I’m talking of love life here, btw. Who cares about career? Work sucks, man! I am now writing from a laptop in Delhi, India. And I remembered perfectly the last time I came here. It was sometime in April 2006. I remembered that I was constantly texting and constantly calling a certain woman, who has a birth month of February, cause I gave her few jewelleries made from Amethyst. So you my closest friends would know who it was for she has been my eternal crush no.1, my 10 years affair. There was also the presence of the biyotch actually (in that 2006 trip), cause I did brought her several items from turquoise, the stone for the people with birth month of December. But hell, I dun wanna speak of the biyotch anymore. Let her roam free in her biyotchful-artificial-dream.

To think that I could be with just about anyone by now, and it’s always fun to think how it would be like if my life did proceed with one of the women in my last 1.5 yrs (more, really). I could be with AG, rite? But then there was DB. And then there was VI. But later on there was DI, and then also DH. Then LS came along, but disrupted by the presence of IN. which all finally dropped cause at the end I chose SN. There are few others in between but don’t wanna recall. Even sometimes when I see a title of a movie in the past, I can no longer recall whom I went to see that movie with. But the regretful biyotch has been the major title of my life since I got back to Indonesia. Her biyotch act is somewhat unforgiven. It would be easy for people to think that I still have something for dat damn biyotch. But to be honest, no. And this is also why it’s so much fun doing this reminiscing thing. The more I think about biyotch, and the more I think about my past, the more I realise how much I love SN.

I’m not a bastard or a player, but I can say that I’ve been here and there. And it has been my objective to venture about seeking the closest-to-best. And remember what I always say, best is best for each of us. Each of our bests is unique. The perfect woman for you may not be the perfect one for others. That’s why I often said, the ‘best guy’ (in gavaism term) may not be the most handsome bastard who dated the most beautiful women in Jakarta, but the ‘best guy’ is the one who knows his playing-field and the one who’s very much aware of what he’s looking for. Back to the topic, yes I realise how special SN is. Biyotch was special. She was the ‘special one’ (not to be confused with Mourinho the ‘special one’). But her act of biyotchness opened few horizons. Anyone CAN be your special one. But you have to choose yourself. As I mentioned before, I could be with A, or B, or C, or X. DI was nice, but not for me. AG is the most beautiful, but she was just harder to trust. DH was just a total mess. LS and IN were great women and yes they can be special. But SN was more special cause she was the one who were able to wipe out clean LS and IN from my life in one time. She was the one who made me do that (dropped affairs with 2 women simultaneously). I’m not even sure if biyotch could do that. And she changed me, and stopped me from ‘roaming’ my jungle. Hahaha.. enjoyed my time, btw. But really could’ve done more. But anyway, she did change me. That’s what made her more special than all others I’ve encountered in the past 1.5 yrs or so. I don’t have to work hard to trust her, cause I find myself more difficult to trust. Hahaha…

So what’s my point? My point is:

DAMN U BIYOTCH!! YOU CAN JUST GO TO HELL…

BUT HAPPY IDUL FITRI..!! AND PLEASE FORGIVE MY MISTAKES IN THE PAST (including what I’ve just said)… HA HA

No no no… hahahhaa.. I was just kidding. really.

The point I really wanna make is, Eid is the day of reminiscing (Gosh, I’m repeating myself). So it is important for us to reminisce, track down our faults. Discovering mistakes can be easy. But what’s more important is LEARNING from our faults. Do not repeat mistakes! Find our way to the better place we seek.

Yes maybe I have been a bastard, a heartless bastard, to some people. I have done mean deeds. But all to give me mistakes for me to learn from. Sharpen my instincts. Not for me to ‘roam’ again and again, and hurt more feelings. But instincts for me to know what I really seek from a woman and to realise who has the qualifications to stop me from my journey (doesn’t really matter if it’s for temporary or permanent).

My time here in India has given me space to think and to recall the events I’ve encountered. (or specifically in this matter, the women I’ve come across, especially at the end of the biyotch era). And at the end, it cannot be more satisfying than knowing that you’ve done your best, you’ve learnt your best, and you’ve come out with the best result!

So go and track back your mistakes. Recall your mean endeavours. And use your mistakes to move towards your better life. Be it love life, career life, family life, etc.

HAPPY IDUL FITRI

MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIDZIN

MOHON MAAF LAHIR DAN BATIN

Ps: don’t forget the first rule of Gavaism study: in order to understand love thoroughly, you have to understand pain thoroughly! Take the risk, jump to the fire, and learn your best!

Your Clean Slate Lives

Today i was busy goggle-ing few apartments in kota and north jakarta, for work of course. The interesting thing is that the most search results i got were news/blogs related to karaoke companion (or more familiar with the term Lady Companion), coukong (up to now i still hvnt found out the valid definition of this term, anyone knows?), drug trading, and of course prostitutes; as most of them dwell in these dodgy apartments.

All these remind me of the 'secretive' event i had few weeks ago. But nevermind that, as that will not be the topic here.

So interesting is the life of the "True Jakarta strugglers", as my best friend put it. LCs and prostitutes are such intriguing figures. Somehow they are lost, somehow it seems as if they need help, and somehow you will always have this flash of heroic thoughts that you could be the one who could vindicate one of them.
Some of these strugglers could surprisingly have a monthly income 10 times yours. Yet sadness and hollowness can be seen from their eyes and they're behaviour. Maybe at the end, money has only been a 'short-term' solution to their worries and needs. But money is one they cannot escape from. Not that they don't want to, but they just can't.


Living a clean slate life is a blessing. Not many people have such priviledge. Ask that to them. Nevertheless, it was themselves who made the choice out of so many options they can have in Jakarta. And yes, money will always seem to light their way out of the tunnel.

It's just common sense that one would opt for an average of 10 million rupiah for working only 3 nights in a week as an LC (esp. the 'party' ones), rather than earning around 1.5 million a month for working at a clothing store in a mall.

There r prices you hv to pay for living clean. (i.e. the tougher life attributed by less income), and there r prices you hv to pay for not (i.e. mess up future).

But all these phenomena should but remind us to be grateful for the life we are currently leading. Living straight is a blessing for some people. Ask drug dealers who couldn't get out of the pressure from their drug-dealing networks, ask LCs who couldn't escape their work, as it has been their life-long dream to be findycated.. sorry i mean vindicated.. haha

Sometimes we whine about our jobs, our salaries, our colleagues, and even at jakarta's ever worsening traffic (thx to our president-wannabe governor who has been busy collecting the remaining 'project-money' before stepping down). We often forget how lucky we are.