Is life too tough or are you a drama king?

I sometimes think.. life must not be that hard. must be me.

But maybe it is.. coz i've been wandering paths that people avoid. Yeah, people use the highways.. we all love the highways..

I didn't. Same old same old.. always choose the other path, the alternative route, the offroad track.. yeah get your 4WD and let's ride for the sake of adventure, and being different....

It's already in all of the prediction about me I've read ever since i was a kid, both western zodiac and chinese's. It's The adventurer!.. me!.. the man who would jump into ridiculous challenges..

Yes... and according to certain views of life, I have successfully managed to ruin the good stuffs I had. that is, in term of love life a.k.a relationships as well as in term of my very 'colourful' career. hehehhehe. I can be seen as a total failure, depending on how you look at it.

As the result... I may be the one who had seen much (compared to others,.. normal others).. but doesn't give me that happiness does it?..

 And now.. with NOT much change left in my pocket.. I still have to face to tough road ahead. argghh.. damn, man... the highway was better..

This is what you get when you're cursed to take the 'alternative route' .... for the rest of your life.

Seasons Change

Okay.. people did it.
My cousin did it..
I think John Legend did it...

so now maybe it's my turn..

I will stop working......
(hehehe i believe this is the most appropriate words to say, rather than saying I'm quitting the job)..

I can't say I'm quitting my job. Does not mean that I don;t want to.
But maybe more because they won;t let me.
They say they can't afford to lose me. They say I'm the key talent...
Well whatever... So here I am.. with a 3 months unpaid leave.. extendable!..
sounds alot like those BOT agreements.. huh?



Why do I stop working?.. What for?...
The answer is.. of course.. as u would've probably guessed...
the stupid raygava et al which has been bugging my head since 2006 !!..
And for my music which has been here in 2004... my God, thats four years ago!!
and I'm telling u.. this is the year! 2008 is our year!.. insya Allah..

And again... Does not mean that I don;t enjoy office works.
In fact, these last 3-4 weeks have been hectic time.
I had meetings after meetings... breakfast with bosses.. coffees with competitor's bosses (haha).. lunch with HR department of another company... etc etc.. all came when I had these two projects' deadline looming...
It was a tough call to make...
to move to a competitor.. (of course with promotion and raise)
to move to a non-property related multinational company
to stay at the company with a mid-year promotion and raise...
or to quit the job and focus on raygava et al.

The last option never bothered me that much. I was so ready to go at one time, and then so 'accepting' to stay at another...
But then I realised that all decisions in my 'office careers' have been much related to my band, and the fact that I may resign sooner or later for my music.
Without raygava et al in my head and in my plans, I'd be somewhere else doin something great, trust me... or maybe staying here doin somethin greater..

But what happened recently have only showed me that I haven't been achieving the dream or goal that I set 2 years ago... remember?..
do you remember the reason why I quit my job in London in 2006 to return here to Indonesia?
there were several reasons.. but a large part was from raygava et al's music....

I returned to Indo because I didnt wanna be a rich-but-no-life bloke in the UK. One with prospective career ahead and good savings but too old to be a newcomer artist..
But now?.. it's been 2 years!.. gak kerasa.. And I've become too old.
Tau gini kan sama aja boong. Mending waktu itu gue stay di London kan?

So hence, my decision..
Sacrificing those higher pays offered by the 2 companies, and my current company...
Those promotions that would make my career path a bit easier..
And those exciting new challenges offered by the other companies..

ahh.. the hell with 'em..

jadi mari kita simak lirik lagu dari Corrine Bailey Rae ini:
Don't you know that patience is a virtue? yes it is
And life is a waiting game... don't you know that?
peace must be nurtured..
and all the money in the world can buy you nothing...
Corinne Bailey Rae - Seasons Change

And now, I just can't wait.. for the season to change!!

The Blank Photo Frames

Frame Foto yang Kosong..

I guess kalo dipikir-pikir itu bisa jadi tema hidup gue 1.5 tahun terakhir.

I've been having these photo frames... Put it on my bedside table (if u'd call it so) since God knows when.. and have been left empty all these times. I moved house in late 2006. It was there, empty.. Moved back here in March 07, still empty. Got additional photo frame from 'someone' around April or May.. and up till now there are two empty photo frames on my bedside table.

These blank frames however, have been the witnesses of my love life in the past 1.5 years. I can't remember how many who walked in and walked out... dont wanna start counting. It's not that many really..but if I can count the fingers till 2 handfull, in 2 years, is quite a number for a guy who's not at all a player.. (you guys who said,"yeah rite!" in the back, pls shut up!).. gue kan cuma manusia cupu yang standar.. udah deh ah..

So i returned home just now.. 2 AM. It was definitely one of the longest days in my life.
And so I am back here again.. returning to the same ol' me with da same ol' situation.... A few months ago I thought things was gonna be different.
When I entered my room.. I looked at the frames (the photo frames).. and i thought "damn, it's empty... It's good though that it's empty.. coz i was thinking of putting a photo of me and her a few months ago... would've been more difficult if I did...."

But fortunately they stayed empty... as empty as my heart is now...

Some may think I am lucky. But what is lucky these days?.. definitely not the same definition as the lucky we knew back in high school. 'Lucky' was being adored by good lookin' women and including changin' partners. 'lucky' was playing in a band, good at sports activities....
Too bad' lucky' has changed..
Lucky has now become settling down with a wife. Settling down with your day job. Lucky is having dinner on a weekday with your own family, or shoppin' at the malls on saturdays...
Guess I'm just a very unlucky guy then, huh?

You guys think I enjoy all these moments?.. You think I asked for these pain?...

It's what you've encountered in life that shaped you!... I've been walking my own talk.. that to understand love to its fullest, you have to understand pain to its fullest...(copyright Gavaism)
I've learnt abt pain, yes i have...damn rite i;ve learnt well...
But are you familiar with the saying that 'The more you know, the more you you're doomed and confused'?
Hell, I'd rather be someone who didn't know aanything at all, and led a simple life..

These Photo Frames.....
I'm happy it stayed empty....
.....
.............
................
................................... or am I?

It's all about hardwork and not complaining

Iya sih bener juga...
it's all about hard work and not complainin'.

Setelah kaget trnyata Panji HRFM mulai nge-rap dan tampaknya akan memulai gerilya nya dengan serangan yang sangat rapih, terencana, berani, dan matang.. hmmm gue acungi jempol.
Mgkn dia memang MC sehingga dia punya the network he needed. But then again, it's all about hard work and not complainin'. Karena tetep pasti bagi dia semua juga tidak semudah itu.

Entah apa sulitnya konsep "bergerilya" ini kadang gue juga bingung.
Kalo dipikir2 gue sudah hampir 2 tahun meng-gerilya-kan raygava et al.
I have some 'achievements' that I'm proud of... but overall, i'm not satisfied enough... gerilya gue kok ga berkembang yah?

Udah jelas frustrasi dateng terus. Tapi yah mgkn itu kekurangan gue. Sebagai pekerja kantoran yg terbelenggu di kehidupan corporate, I have been networking in the wrong herd!
People who cannot and will not help my music whatsoever...
But i need my day job, to support all the investments i made (and will continue to make, God knows until when) for raygava et al...

Jelas cukup capek dan heran kenapa susah banget bergerilya. I don;t have that much money or savings or rich parents to support this thing (like several other bands). So what can you expect? terang aja lama bener...

Sangat sedih karena lagu2 yang masih menunggu terproduksi secara resmi ini adalah lagu2 lama.. dari mulai taun 2001 sampe 2006. gila kan??..
PIkir2 salahnya dimana yah?.. 80% of people yg denger raygava et al akan langsung suka. dan lebih dari 90% orang yang musisi yg udah denger raygava et al lgsg suka...
Jadi sekarang sangat aneh sekali. Kawan2 musisi2 yang sudah pada ternama, mereka menantikan terus kapan si rega bisa berhasil membuat raygava et al jadi breakthrough baru.. lucu kan?? tapi gue masih mandeg terus disini.

But i still can't do much. The support is not enough..

I know it's all about hardwork and not complainin. But sometimes my head just wanna blow up. Badan dan mental sudah seringkali terlanjur capek oleh day job gue....., harapan juga sering pudar kalau bukan karena orang-orang yg percaya dan terinspirasi sama raygava et al yang terus membuat api semangat gue masih nyala di dada.

gue inget.. musik raygava pertama kali, yang muncul taun 2004, adalah musik yang waktu itu gue buat for my friends (waktu itu untuk farewell gifts karena mau cabut ke London). That's where it all began...
dan smenjak dulu, baik di atas panggung, di dalam studio, bahkan di atas tempat tidur dengan gitar gue,...... I've been doing it for these people..
people who have faith in my music!!!

I have people who believe in my music... in the message i'm trying to send to the world...
Dan selama mereka masih percaya, selama mereka masih yakin sama gue...
gue gak akan pernah berhenti bergerilya dan berjuang...and I'm not planning on failing.

the list of misconceptions

The followings are some misconceptions people have about me.
1. The fact that I'm not married does not make other married people more mature than me and know better about relationships than I do. ha ha..
2. The fact that I have been pursuing two careers at the same time does not indicate at all that I am in a good financial state (i do need money and higher salary).
3. The fact that I use only 50% of my brain to finish the works at the office does not mean I do not deserve any sort of raise.
4. The fact that I have been a bastard does not indicate that I will continue to be a bastard.
5. The fact that I love mocking 'beyotch' does not at all mean I still have feelings for her. It has only been so much fun cursing the name.
6. The fact that I am young and I am smart does not mean that people should hold my back to slow me down.
7. The fact that I have my music career, which potentially could allow me quit my job instantly (if things work well that is), does not mean that I can't work in the same company for the rest of my career.
8. The fact that I am underrated (both in the music industry or in work) does not mean that I don't know about it and that I am not planning anything to change it in the future.
9. The fact that I'm on my diet campaign does not indicate my true passion for food.
10. The fact that I am still in the same company does not mean I do not want to or cannot go to other company, as i have several reasons to stay.
11. The fact that I play music does not mean I am that good playing music. hahaa.. alias cupu2 aja lahh..
12. The fact that I can play many sports does not mean that I am extremely good in any. (alias ga bisa fokus)
13. The fact that I don;t go to gyms does not mean I can;t beat you on the field or on the court. ha ha.
14. The fact that I am the lead singer in the band does not mean I can sing well.
14. udah ahh.. bosen juga lama2.. ga ada abisnya. hahaha..

just wait and see my next move.

RP